:D

2006-02-17T23:34:00.000+08:00

i like 3Grace ! :D i adore our row (: Chicken Little is veryvery funny and entertaining ! haha i think we can have Chicken Little for mascot alrd. Ziqian and Debbie ! :D hoho.

im in a CLUB :D haha Members Only !

Campcraft was nice today ! its the first trg Rebekah came down ! i was quite high and all, because everyone else was nice today. lets not be demoralised by the timing okay ! we really could've done it, SO CLOSE. hurrrrr. nice feeling, crying tog. hah.

thankyou Loo, Silver for caring (: yes there IS something, i just, dont want to say out.

i passed AMath, im very happy for myself :D haha its like second Math test ive passed from the start of last year ? which is quite pathetic, but WELL :D haha !

The days have been so busy ): ive hardly any time for anything else anymore. i just, sleep. haha. but tdy is definitely a happy day (: as long as ive got you, i think ill be alright. <3333 :D

comm dinner was, SHORT. haha but there was a bond, kind of (: nice la ! :D

the day is so near now ):

quote tan ;
PRELIMS 25FEB2006 PAGROUNDS.
/unquote

i like the PA Grounds thing (: it gives the whole thing a very glam tone, but, PA is lousy la, lets face it. haha its really very pathetic. pray for the ground to be just right, no rocks (: no shiny pegs ! haha. JIAYOU CAMPCRAFT (: <333333333333

2006-02-12T18:16:00.000+08:00

haha i havent blogged in so long, its pathetic (:

this week has been a mess of ups and downs, and it has been very hectic ): im really glad that its over, but i know that next week and nextnext week will be about the same. what with lessons and campcraft, and so much homework ):

Valentine's Day is coming, tmrw will be a sleepless night. haha i better finish everything by two am, if not ill just sleep through all the lessons (: im kindof looking forward and dreading in another way. haha i dont know why.

all i can say is, i cant stand the sound of her voice, the sight of her ): i know im very mean, but i seriously dont care, and im quite pissed even, that she says shes sad over me. wtf, SHE KNOWS HOW I FEEL ABOUT HER ): rah.

takecare.

2006-02-04T12:40:00.000+08:00

I've packed a change of clothes and it's time to move on.

I don't think anything I've blogged today has made sense, so I'm going to edit, AGAIN!! What a boring life I live, I've been home the whole of today. My day started with getting up very reluctuantly at eleven plus, then having tuition. Everyone asked me why I had tuition for so long after that, actually I've no idea why. Joey's usually very on time, she doesn't like overtime, I don't either (: So, while I was mentally screaming at the thought of having to do MORE indices questions (I swear I'd've screamed with the next one), SHE STOPPED! :D I was sososo happy to send her out of the door okay.

I spent most of my time after that online. I don't really know what I actually did online, because actually I think I didn't do anything, I was mostly restarting because the modem was so screwed up earlier. But now it has recovered from its short illness and I'm glad (:

I wanted to go and sleep after that, but my dearest cousin came over. Her name is Pan Xin, which i find very adorable. Actually I'm not sure how you spell it, but it's pronounced that way, so actually if you add just one more syllable, it's my name (: Although yes, my name does not suit me and I know that very well, thank you very much, it is still MY name. As such, I feel obliged to like my name, so there!

And, it has been a long time since I typed in perfect English online, so, clap for me (: I talked to an Unidentified person today online, and she's from 4Justice. I still wonder how she knows me, but I shall stop caring so much.

Tomorrow will be a better day, I hope. It's getting up very early for service and then hopefully, trip to town for my wallet (: Oh, yes town is confirmed now! I think after Cell, which better end early. I want my wallet. Haha and I really want Campcraft to be on Monday and Tuesday! That way I won't feel guilty about having to miss on Wednesday (: And I get to go home with Tan! :D Flagstaff is fun, especially with Charlotte :D I like saying Charlotte, so I'll say Go Charlotte everytime we do together. Haha I'm not making sense am I. It doesn't matter (: It's eleven already, so way past bedtime !

I don't see why both of us are ruining a perfectly good friendship. I don't know who the fault lies with this time, I'm really lost at why we're even at this stage right now. We used to be so comfortable around each other. See, I'm already using used to, but that was less than a week ago. A fucking WEEK. And now we're reduced to this cold mess. Okay it doesn't matter I suppose, I don't know if you even care. But I do care, and that's the whole reason why I've been feeling so fucked up.

The stars in my world are starting to dim. I hope that you'll understand how I feel one day, soon. But maybe you don't even care, and that's the most tragic part of this tragedy. I miss the late night calls, I miss the ever so sweet messages. Will we ever be okay again? Take care.

And this is for one more person, I'm starting to lose touch of when we were ever close. This distance feels so old now, like it has been here all along. I guess this breakdown has been a long time in coming, both of us just never really bothered to care. We're always too busy with our lives aren't we. Now we're here, and I can't say I didn't see this coming, because I did, I just didn't want to try because you weren't. Now I'm starting to care, I'm starting to hope again for a Us once again. The bond is gone, maybe Forever. I'll see you around, and, please make the First Move. I don't think I've the courage to.

2006-02-02T22:09:00.000+08:00

YOU GOT IT BAD

im sosososo screwed ! invitation card, jianbao, chem, physics, math, basha, OHMY.

i love Loo, Tan :D smile la (: im not much better off anyhow, you know how screwed my everything right now is.

SHE, is so near but really shes not. hurrrrrrrr i feel like im trying to reach across the entire school okay. TSK, and i dont think you even feel anything. ill let this rot and, this isnt the first time ive felt like this about you. mmmm i suppose we're just, not fated. sometimes i do wish that i never knew you. maybe i wouldnt feel like this for so long, and id be better off.

haha but the ironic thing is, i do love you. id rather not actually, but, oh well. i hope we'll be okay soon.

2006-02-01T20:02:00.000+08:00

bad day ! hurr so many teachers are against me ): its quite annoying really. its beijin's birthday today :D i like beijin ! shes so nice to laugh at.

haha okay simba thinks im crushable :D ask for details ! although everyone's irritated with me telling the whole worlddddddd. haha !

charlotte's sick sick sick ! haha its THREE you see. mistress ah ! so unfaithful :D cannot compromise her for simba okay ! later she sad how. haha ! i think you sound bimbo and high whenever you talk about her (: im sorry i burst your bill, for the ten billionth time. hahaha ! its okay la right (: oneday, ill see you walk past her class and ill just die laughing from your expression i bet. :D

audreys coming back tmrw !! :DDDD no more sitting alone ! hoho. so nice, yes i missed you loo (: i dont do ANY work without you around. i just sleep and get scolded (:

OHHHHH dumbness: i went all the way up to cristofori with this guy in the lift, then when i saw the lights off i thought the lighting spoil, so i walked closer and, saw the sign, andddddddd, i said, WAHLAU EH very loud. then i kindof looked up and the same guy looked down and he like so, amused ! hurrrr. its tans fault. pig didnt wait for me, and ! never inform me dont have. what an ass right (: haha !

i think ccc is, nice. haha ! recess was funny (: i think nobody really wants to be in except for haiping la ! haha team b is so backup, but i think it'll be fun and nice, since we all feel the same way. we'll have fun complaining ! hahahhahaha rubbish.

charlotte's calling me panny wanny. HAHA

i dont like school ! rubbish rubbish teachers, ALL of them care about homework okay ! hurr. so mad.

art was, sleepy (: haha i feel like im just wasting my time there, but nevermind, i like it ! hahahaha.

2006-01-31T20:44:00.000+08:00

town today with the cousins, all the movies we wanted were sold out ! ): cartel for lunch, haha i almost decided to cut my hair AGAIN but i didnt. say you're proud of me :D haha went up for air hockey ! met the greenbadge senior, qiaoying. haha rubbish.

went fareast, TURKISH ICECREAM. then taka, met her again. heeren, saw tan after we ditched ivy+her. walked, then i was too tired to go anywhere else (:

THIS IS MY CHU SAN. haha we watch i not stupid too at 1150pm last night (: i like it :D

theres flagraising tmrw ! rah. andddddddddddddddddddddddddddd. ccc. okay lorxXx. i shall reserve opinion til trg starts. but ill put in my best (:

schools boringgggggg and i think theres homework. i cant rem, and i really cant be bothered.

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

its audreys birthday today :D my dearest lp isnt in singapore, and she'll be leaving me alone tmrw again, but nevermind, im forgiving :D you're fifteen ! equals, YOUR FREAKING IC. haha im jealous ): i love you alot ! and i wont stop loving you even if the world ends :D thanks for being my sittingpart + lp + i dontknow what else, but, you mean the world to me and i hope you know that :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! (:

2006-01-29T21:07:00.000+08:00

happy cny :D haha it has been quite a happy day (: i won money ! :D hoho. butbut, hurr im really scared and stressed rightnow ): after i read something. i really hope it isnt true ! but i think it is, im quite confirmed alrd. haiyaaaaaaa.

early mornings and late nights. had to wake up at seven tdy to go to the cemetery ): it was boring and, i dont know, not nice. then came over to my cousin's, sat around and gambled til like SEVEN. we started at like one okay. hurrrr.

OHMY. confirmed ):

then ! headed over to my uncle's. the boy's super pretty okay ! :D his name is Gabriel, i didnt bring my cam over. so wasted ! he's even prettier than Alexandra, and ive always thought she was the prettiest of all (: but anyway, i got to see my dearest boy ! BENEDICT :D butbut, he ignored me for the first ten minutes or so ): then he went to play games ! i was bored out of my mind til my bear finally came home. haha no youre not prettier, you just look like a girl tonight. ZHU ! :D haha. i dont chenji ! who'd want to la please. haha fridayyyy ! :D

ohmySHIT. yesyes, THAT ! ): okay. ive given up ALL hope. its me ): say hello to R. HURR. i bet im the one. can they just faster say !! so annoying.

2006-01-28T14:47:00.000+08:00

Drive until you lose the road, Or break with the ones you've followed

another week is overrrrrrr. im really glad yes. this break has been too long in coming haha. and, ive a feeling everythings just going to get busier next week, especially if THAT is true. haha my name does sound like hers what :D
haha so cute right ! :D

ohmy. ive a feeling im that one. ):

2006-01-26T19:14:00.000+08:00

i found out today that there are many things beneath the surface. you know everything what right. hurrhurr.

haha tan's stupid. I DONT WANT YOU TO FETCH ME CAN ! ass.

i miss staying back and mugging in the canteen )): why must everyone be so freaking packed, its quite annoying. i think ive too many commitments ! haha single science comes into mind again. so nice :D andddddd, ALL THE TEACHERS HATE FAM. i dont understand why okay ! and i bet most of 3g does toooooooooooooo.

i keep feeling like everythings moving too fast. SLOW DOWN :D

2006-01-22T19:37:00.000+08:00

i feel quite bad right now ): i cant really talk without feeling like puking, urghhhhh. my throat hurts, and i think my temperature is back ): everything better go by tmrw, okay maybe just the temperature. why me ): i reallyreally feel like puking.

when it strikes twelve tonight, it'll be the birthdays of two people, both of whom i love veryvery much (: i shall have to stay awake ):

service today, my throat was hurting like siao ! but i wasnt feeling bad at all, except when i coughed and the initial part, when i had a huge headache and missed my panadols alot (: my candy rem. haha. it was quite, good ? practically everyone trained down to bedok ! :D hoho i had people to pei me, but VERY SADLY, i had to go for.. reunion lunch. HAHA

in the car, i met my new fan. O.O she touched me EVERYWHERE. no im not joking, she just very innocently ran her hand across MY CHEST. ohmy ohmy i wanted to scream, but haiya, little girl ? ): she clung to me throughout lunch, and she kissed me goodbye :D hahahaha i quite like her, but nobody can beat my dearest benedict :D thats my favouritest little kid in the whole wide world, and im sure he knows it :D

i slept when i reached home at. five plus. actually ive been lazing around since i got home la. i know theres lit and amath to complete by tmrw, ILL. and the telephone network. even loo said theyre fussy lor ): where got people demand full colour one. i bet is cuz sec4 one is coloured, and theyre jealous ): HURR.

the pukey feeling is so present ): and my throat hurts with every cough. ive a feeling im going to puke tonight. ))))): DIEDIEDIE. ohyes ! i met diana on the train tdy :D she sat with us to cityhall, then left cuz we were waiting for some other people. ive smth to announce. TDY WAS THE FIRST TIME IN THE YEAR IVE BEEN EARLY FOR SERVICE :D

and, i felt quite good about myself last night, after i prayed (: its the first time in a longlong time, i guess sometimes i just sortof lose abit of faith ? but last night was reallyreally great, thank You God (: i know that He's here, thats enough isnt it (:

2006-01-21T08:48:00.000+08:00

Here I go again I promised myself I wouldnt think of you today
Its been seven months and counting
Youve moved on
I still feel exactly the same
Its just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name
Like photographs and memories of love
Steel and granite reminders
The city calls your name and I cant move on

Ever since youve been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me

Am I all alone in the universe
Theres no love on these streets
I have given mine away to a world that didnt want it anyway
So this is my new freedom
Its funny
I dont remember being chained
But nothing seems to make sense anymore
Without you Im always twenty minutes late

Ever since youve been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me

And time goes by so slowly
The nights are cold and lonely
I shouldnt be holding on
But Im still holding on for you

Here I go again
I promised myself I wouldnt think of you today
But Im standing at your doorway
Im calling out your name because I cant move on

Ever since youve been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me

i think, it might be time for me to move on and stop thinking about you so much (:

thankyou sa for the talk, and everything else. # FOUR :D haha ! everyone go check out her blog. you can see my name so many times ! haha. and, im her crush ? HAHA.

i think i might, just might, have caught the bug ): ive been coughing since lastnight ): TSK, its either loo/tan/lu's fault :D and, im VERYVERY happy. no more flagraising next week ! :D its back to last bus to school (:

anyway, it's lu's birthday tdy (: so, happy birthday ? haha. get well soon (: you know i love you right ? hahahahaha.

and to YOU, i didnt know you come here until she told me, but nevermind, thats not the point. i think youre very paranoid (: haha. i hope you know who you are okay ! ZIPLOC. haha. yes seriously you think too much ? i dont blog about you la ! so, dont worry in future okay ? and im not angry with you, ive never been angry with you. i suppose its just, disappointment, sadness ? i dont know (: takecare la, lastyear was a blast for me, thankyou for that.

2006-01-20T20:43:00.000+08:00

why did i go there ): and why must everyone keep going on and on and on ! and my gosh, you sound like my freaking MOTHER. wtf ): no i dont want to listen to anyone anymore, ITS NOT LIKE YOU'D UNDERSTAND.

welcome party was a flop ): im sorry to anyone who trusted that beijin and i would make it a success ): i feel so bad la ! ic but everything went wrong. the rain, the wrong locations, low morale, EVERYTHING. and i was so bossy ! hurr /: i bet everyone hates me now. im sorry im such a lousy ic, the secones confirm never enjoy ): & ! i think i ran more than 2.4 tdy ? SIAO LOR. lower concourse, upper concourse, viewing gallery, upper forum, sec 1 corridor /: abit not tiring. TSK, im just sorry im such a disappointment.

first test of the year, i think, haha i shant say. but, recess was rubbish ! prefect dont know how to stop anyone :D i was setting a bad example la ! haha.

i still think shes nice ? /: i shouldnt i shouldnt ! so weirdddddd. and i waited for my father for.. one hour plus ? haha. i like :D somehow i enjoy waiting ? when ive somewhere to sit (: id have died carrying all that home !

hahahahaha im missing Learning Club on tuesday again. the name's very dumb :D and i dont think ive done homework at all ? haha everyone will be surprised when i start ! next week, hopefully. theres nothing much going on alrd right. ohmy, actually i think theres. but atleast not as packed as this week ! im veryvery glad its over.

CCC, CARD ICS, UNITDAY ICS, JIAYOU :DDDD you can do it ! haha. ill help, as best as i can ? :D

hahahahhahaha TELEPHONE NETWORK. it IS time, i think. haha we've been using that since like, pop. i rem, we didnt put ncos numbers in cuz of that. haha ! i dont know what classes almost half the squad is in la ! i only know all the grace, faith, charity and diligence people /: which means, CALLING. total strength; 20 ): i dont miss her presence, sadly enough.

tuition at eight tmrw ! crazyyyy.

2006-01-17T20:21:00.000+08:00

i trulytruly feel very sick and tired ): you're added to the list. yes one more person xun. must you change so much, why cant you just remain the same sweet friend i thought i knew. apparently i dont, i suppose i never did. maybe you're too complex a friend for me. go on and do your things, we wont be salvaged if you dont make the first move, thats all i can say. i think you're losing yourself. and no matter how much i pray, i feel that i cant find you anymore. i hope that the gulf is not too big yet /: if you happen to see this, tell me what's going on with you, tell me if ive truly lost you forever. but i kindof know you wont, im just hoping really hard that you'll make the first move this time, not me, i dont want to message you first. yes i do miss you.

and, thankyou for the talk propro (: its mean in a real context, not what i talk about, that'd be ridiculously stupid and childish. loveyou (:

2006-01-16T19:13:00.000+08:00

ohmy :D school was tiring tdy. PLUS, i dont think i really like being tc + eng rep + welcome party ic ? ): especially when they keep wanting to pass messages, collect stuff AND new ideas. calling ci is scary you know ): but she was nice (: and, haiya im really veryvery guilty that i left the things there. im sorry ):

i love my wifey alot ! shes so very sweet :D but, food ! haha you can be quite cute :D i know you love me :D haha i miss you, in a way ? i dont know (: thankyou for the present, for being such a great, wonderful, MY #1 WIFEY ! one and only :D

i really feel like just going to bathe and sleep rightnow. i had tuition you know ): damn torturous ! and flagraising again tmrw, seven AGAIN ): dont blame me if i walk straight into the flagpole or fall on the stairs or smth /: this is a badddddd week.

but, im looking forward to tmrw (: for alot of reasons ! :DDDD

grace's still really quiet /: i truly regret not taking single science.

2006-01-15T18:17:00.000+08:00

i think its back to the midnight routine. this time its not because ive too much to do, its just that im too lazy to actually get compulsory things done. RAHH :D

met hole, eug and my bear tdy ! i didnt feel much during, but after when i was studying, i kept hearing praise songs in my head (: thankyou for coming down to study with me ! although we only studied for like.. two hours ? blah, you're great la ! :D <3

i didnt get to see someone ): pig, i thought you were at the station ? so i walked and shun bian call you, then turn out you in foyer ! ): i was quite sad, really. i dont know, your msg made me quite happy during svc. and i was kindof messaging the whole time ): ey well, ill see you tmrw la. sorry i didnt go back, but she was scared of her ? /: but aye, i dont get why.

im going to have a busyyyyy week. outline !

monday
tuition at 4+ ( i live in WOODLANDS ! ): )

tuesday
dryshoot

wednesday
art til 545
guitar at 7
( SO TIRING. later he scold me for yawning all through lesson again. and i havent started 10min routine yet. or even 1 min hahahahha )

thursday
dryshoot

friday
np ( ey, im not sure if its welcome party, but if it is, KILL ME ): public speaking ! ): haha i think its this week you know. WTH )
trg at 8, actually im not sure whether i want to go down ? if its welcome party i wont /: abit fullu, ptkit, PLUS uniform ? not bulging at all.

saturday
tuition, 930
AHEM, 2-5

sunday
service !
TRG ): ill be forced to go even if i dont want to.

so packed ! ): ey and i didnt realise ive so many things going on. why thursday ! ): im sad. we were SUPPOSED to stay back tog.

and, ive to collect consent forms & evaluation tmrw ? and get the date settled. and settle my welcome party proposal also. AND actually start on phy/chem/math. i know theres quite alot. AND, ive this feeling whole squad might cry when we get the talk. then abit six people go back 3g with red eyes ! ): ms fazi laughed at my pop photo, THANKYOU LA.

ohmy. i think im changing guitar day alrd ! i know mr tan's very nice and all, but i really wont be able to tahan, soon. sorry tan ): if you dont want i switch myself lorzxX. uhh, joey's nice. haha she's damn cute over the phone !

me: ey im still in school ! can cancel ? or you want come later also can.
joey: so poor thing ah ! nevermind la, later you tired.

SEE, WHERE TO FIND TUITION TEACHER SO NICE ! and her tone was very cute :D

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means
And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been
all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again
Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day!
And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry

what a precise summary of us. i feel like crying and laughing at the same time.

2006-01-10T13:43:00.000+08:00

yesterday was very, RAHH ): class wasnt entertaining, it was much too cold. recess was spent stoning, after school was spent waiting around and doing very little work ! in the end all i did was my jianbaos. which were.. due THAT day. and when your chinese teacher is HIM, you'd be scared, wouldnt you ): that and sitting beside a twofaith person ): who constantly terrorises me ! eyy ):

haha fam has a supply of panadols (: andddddd, my fiesta tickets die alrd la. ive found them though ! :D on my table, which is extremely piled up /: i really want a new room :D

CAMPCRAFT ! WORK HARD :D DONT LET ANYTHING GET YOU DOWN ! AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, DONT CRY ): ILL BE SAD/SCARED.

hahahahahaha i think ive really found the most important people in my life. and ive smth to announce ; there are only THREE people whose names have smth special added (: loo knows, i think she's the only one. haha but there are about six other veryvery important people too :D

xun ! i think theres only one person left la. the other one's sortof settled, im happier anyway (: i think the best thing rightnow would be to sit and wait, and not bother about her anymore. think positive right ! :D

and in the car, i remembered smth. my coach once told us that a fighter must love pain, even if he doesnt, he has to learn to, in order to be a good fighter. so, ive thought about it all the way in the car, a veryvery long journey, and i think i know how to live my life (: i really think my coach rocks :D even if the rest of the world doesnt, ALL of us agreed that day in toa payoh sports hall, waiting for.. i think four hours plus, that he's a really great guy :D and ill say smth here, some of his words can inspire me to work more than even sermons can. or the guitar teacher haha. ten minutes a day, i shall try :D starting from tdy, since theres lesson tmrw. HAHA.

wondering works wonders /: why cant i take my own advice. ill learn to love pain, ill learn to be a fighter. and ill learn to make everyone matter a little lesser, so that i wont have to deal with the pain. when ive mastered the art of loving pain, then maybe ill be a happier person, a better person.

2006-01-08T20:14:00.000+08:00

i hate what you can do to me with a single word. and the worst thing is, you dont know, you wont ever know. maybe by some miracle you will understand what to say and what not to say someday. for now, ill just be contended with what ive.

school by seven tmrw ! )): evil right. ): here it is, if i see someone i know, ILL CAB. but if not, say hello to one minute owe five ):

2006-01-07T19:35:00.000+08:00

Paint the portrait perfect image that fills our eyes,

someone made my day after the horrible orientation (: PLASTER :D haha you cute thing.

im tired of making excuses to save us.

2006-01-05T21:28:00.000+08:00

i love my Bitch, because you've proved, time & time again, that you'll always be here, i'll always have YOU (: thankyou, this time i was really about to break down. YOU SEE (: a picture speaks a thousand words ? /: haha. i dont even rem taking that, but it's sweet anyhow (: im suddenly reminded of many things, our dear milkrun (which wouldnt mean anything touching to anyone except np :D), pop. what we once were, and what i believe we're coming to again :D Tan Shu-Yee Rachel, YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME :D ill never let you go (:

2006-01-05T19:36:00.000+08:00

just when i need you, you're not here. its my fault anyhow, but, i miss you ): and no, i wont stop this til the time to do so is here. im sorry, but since i wont see you anyway, might as well right. sometimes i really wish ive never known you, you're so very confusing ):

2006-01-04T21:30:00.000+08:00

second day of school ! threegrace's seriously out of place, and i get this surprised feeling when i walk into class and see 5/7 of the fam inside, but its nice anyhow (: haha we shall all act like we're sec3, not pri3 (:

had talks in the hall again, and fam had our first recess ! asin, from when school started. which was.. a day ago. haha ! we walked around the whole canteen like retards trying to find seats ): we did, in the end (:

had talk, went back to class ! we planned the fiesta thing (: we bonded, in a way ? sortof (: atleast i dont think that SHE is that scary anymore. haha.

went around with puay after that, found char and wanyi in the canteen ! jerm came over too (: i suppose i do miss them, in a way. its nice to have people who dont always bully me around :D hoho !

went to peacock area, moved everything to forum. tied, ive what, six blisters ): and char was angry with me ! haha i was damn noisy and all, i dont know why (: quite high, somehow ? and there were alot of things to be noisy about (: im sorry la okay, they were all really a long time ago ! and its not a PATTERN la please.

finished ONE gyn lash, we're pathetic. its quite loose, i think ? ohno ): my blisters all for nothing ): haha okay nevermind. cleared up with charrrrrrrr, haha i told her why. i think its stupid :D i know she thinks so too, she scolded me ! hahahaahhah i miss that woman quite alot actually. she and her fake fierceness to me :D haha.

had orange bowl after with loo tan lu (: then went for guitar, late ! right here waiting )): go and die. HAHAHA THAT GUY. tan ah :D

i had quite a nice day (: i dont know, not very interesting sounding, but it was, somehow ? i saw my crush :D haha ! ohwell (: ill reply, soon ! why on hiatus ): im sad know. TSK.

loo + pan = lp OR pl (NA) :D i wrote that on her upper thigh. im the only one she calls dumbass, im supposed to be honoured you knowwwwwww. hahahahahah i am, i dont know why.

2006-01-03T22:23:00.000+08:00

blogging pangs ! but ive got nothing to blog about /: haha ohwell, first day ? i thought i was earlyyy, when it turned out i wasnt, but still. i was on time (: haha i really wonder how ill survive when flagraising starts ? i think ill be cabbing from yck station everyday la pleaseee. and then maybe ill be late still. hahaha.

my most important new year resolution :D
# to be a better person than SOMEONE ! :DDDD (i did, i think i put down first friday night ? YAY)

threegrace seems like an.. okay class now. haha but there are some seriously annoying people. and i think fam makes ALOT of noise, especially the person sitting next to me, my dearest AUDREY LAI. hahahahahaha shes damn embarrassing, reallyreally.

ahemimenglishrepahem. whose fault again ! AUDREY LAI. haha okay im sorry la ! youre nice :D i know ill enjoy next year sitting with you, cuz i wont have to endure EMOTIONAL BULLYING from you like i do from TAN SHU-YEE RACHEL right ! yes. and you wont be suspended like im sure she'll (:

puay, lu, liumin and yingqi are monitors (: like all we know one ? ya lor :D hahahahahhaha history lessons, LOO I HATE YOU, must you be so embarrassing ! haiyo !

AHHHHHH NEW TC ! i pity you (: too bad ! hoho. faster hor.

anddddddd, why is my squad so freaking uncontactable. ANSWER YOUR CALLS LA !

we stayed back and talked and laughed at wendy til four plus tdy (: i miss our mugging days, its starting again i think. SO FUN :D

recess was spent tying gadgets (: my shoes are still damn clean ! i cant stand it. haha. then in the hall, puay and i wanted to go to the toilet, then actually we wanted to walk down the middle of the hall, but then when we stood up, i noticed that it was congested :D so we went by the side ! so paiseh /: i hope nobody saw haha. then we went to sit with simba :D we didnt want to walk through SO MANY people.

YOU'RE NOT ALONE (:wth.

2006-01-01T20:42:00.000+08:00

i had a great day today, all thanks to dearest yeewen ! haha thats a super funny woman okay. it started with last night, at around eleven ? we talked til i went to bathe, then i called her again and counted down ! yes I counted down, not her. after i said 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1, that woman was like, huh new year alrd ? haha and she was claiming that '05 will last one second longer, when the countdown was correct timing ! awww. OHHHH, she said smth veryvery embarrassing. hoho ! ask me ask me !

then we both went to sleep (: woke up and was quite happy, because she said she'd meet me on the bus. turned out when i was happily walking towards the bus stop, 858 went past me ): i missed it ! ): okay then we agreed to meet in the airport. ANDDDDDD, i alighted at terminal one. i panicked and went running towards this bus, and asked the uncle whether the bus went to terminal two, and guess what ! he looked at me all weirdly and said yes in this isnt-it-obvious-are-you-a-retard tone ): both yeewen and i concluded that ALL buses go to terminal two too /: ohwell. i was quite embarrassed ?

met her ! finally. ran towards train station, when i was about to tap my card, the light turned red ! ): but the person in front of me got through, it was green ! bully me la. okay lor. on the train, she came up with new year resolutions for me !

# DONT MISS THE BUS
# DONT TAP THE CARD WHEN THE LIGHT IS RED (okay i admit, i did)
# DONT BE LATE FOR SERVICE /:

haha we werent VERY late, okay la praise started alrd. hoho. yeahh we ran all the way in ! halfway through walking, this usher said happy new year and i was like quite shocked, i FORGOT, i got quite high and shouted happy new year into her ear ? hoho.

seats werent good, but ohwell, no choice /: ohyes ! she didnt go to serve because.. SHE OVERSLEPT. haha ! then in the end she thought she'd have to serve after service, but apparently not. service was good okay ! sermon was short, but it made me think alot. i wasnt concentrating much at some points, i was thinking about this particular person.

i reallyreally hope that you know who you are, on the off chance that you're actually here and reading this. im really sorry about that day, and that ive refused to forget about it til now. pastor's right, repeating the wrong action over and over again can seperate even the best of friends. i hope im not too late, im praying really hard that our friendship can still be salvaged. i know this is probably too late, i know for sure now that you know who ive been talking about all along. and you know smth, i got quite annoyed that day, when i realised that you've been talking to them about this all along, when i havent said anything at all. but, im sorry i felt that way, you had every right to. maybe you wont forgive me, im too late, but if you ever decide to, ill be here. im sorry for everything. im making the first move now, please have some reaction. my phone is on, my guestbook can be signed. if you do feel anything, anything at all, i hope that you'll say it out, then at least i can be sure of how to react to you. forgive, by His grace (:

trained to raffles place, we went to eat. haha but there wasnt food, except for mr bean. SO, we ate abit, then trained to town to eat somemore :D hoho we're pigs. then trained to causeway, i bought school shoes ! i think they're okay ? my converse one no more sizes ): so i cant buy it anymore. im quite sad ): they're not stocking it anymore !

then my father came to fetch us over to my cousin's house. i was supersuper tired by that time alrd, i fell asleep on the sofa ! mm when i woke up it was six plus alrd, so i took bus home. changed, went down for trg. i was late /: and trg sucked la. i couldnt remember a thing, wth. i was stoning most of the time, im going to die for grading. and ive to go down again tmrw in that case, and i dont think my mother's allowing me to stay over at my cousin's ? ): ill have to wake up earlier. annoying ):

my gosh. im getting more and more worried for you. make a decision quick, then atleast ill know where youre standing /: dont scare me.

and, im sorry if i offended someone. you probably dont know who you are, but ive apologised, perhaps by some miracle you'll know. i never meant to step in.

:') why are you so amused by your dimples ! i think mine's cuter. ((":; hoho. so double ! you're its slimmer okay ! come back quick ): i hope you're safe ! and i did message you manymany times okay, just not on time /: im a busy person you see ! hoho.

i dont like being tc )): can they change, soon. its so mafan to call people ! and quite annoying also. ill do it.. tmrw. its quite late now isnt it (: yes it is. and im saying it first ah. YOU ALL BETTER DO WHAT YOURE SUPPOSED TO. first day alrd must do so many things ): madness la !

happy new year (: takecare world.

2005-12-31T20:44:00.000+08:00

just don't forget some of us watch the sunset too

it's almost '06 ! hopefully it'll be a better year than '05. now that i really look back on the past year, i realise that it really hasn't been very bad. as in, i think ive gotten alot closer to some people, and made new friends who are really worth it (: but, its really the fastest year ive ever gone through in my whole entire life.

springcleaning was quite nice. i wasnt exactly late, but ya lor. haha. im sitting with my dearest lp (: mm i dont know most of the faces in class ): nevermind, i wont be scared. hahaha. fam (minus LOO and xw) went to bowl and play pool (: haha i was pro at pool after awhile ! and hit air in the end. TSK :D then went to j8, we were all terribly bored. hahaha left at four plus, i went over to my cousin's. somehow i like the walk to their house ? it's reallyreally long, but very nice :D its like very peaceful ? much nicer than the walk to my house (:

then met someone at seven (: im really sorry i couldnt stay ! /: and, haiyo dont be sad okay. EXPERIMENT ON PAPER YOU IDIOT. but ey, im happy that you told me, reallyreally. and you better finish the summary for hiroshima, even if you dont do anything else. haha. be happy okay ! why must you scrub ): your hand so nice lor ! and crocs are nice and SMALL :D hoho. loving yourself means not doing it. and no, youre not allowed to do it for yourself. that's even wronger la ! haiyo. ill always be here okay (: its not weird. xiaoxin rocks :D i like the drawing hahahahaha. loveyou :D

2005-12-29T09:58:00.000+08:00

i've never been the praying kind
but lately i've been down on my knees
not looking for a miracle
just a reason to believe

NARNIA ! okay christmas tree. haha the purpose of this post is because.. i found the button to upload images :D hahahahaha apparently this is a nice pose, i held it for two shots. PIG. haha i did that piece ! its nice and touching, why dont you read :DDDD you better score well next year ah woman ! what ite, GO AND DIE LA. ill kill you if you do. no more 0.1% passes okayyyyy. you can do it :D

i think this is the nicest shot of the day :D its the first picture of the day and I TOOK IT ! tell me im pro. haha. your wallet very nice ssit ! :D and she was the only one with jacket ): we were both freezinggggg, thats what happens with being furless (:

it was quite a nice day, thankyou you two (: FOR NARNIA AND FOR ASLAN :D i like Aslan, i think he's cool ! yes.

2005-12-28T23:55:00.000+08:00

i just read eug's entry :D im so amused ! haha that makes me happy, just thinking about that wonderful, wonderful day (: i havent been as happy as i was that day for ages. i guess, in a way, not many people can make me happy anymore ? they dont, and all the others are just.. depressed in their own way. its the most unexpected people who make my day (:

FAM maybe we should have a talk on friday. after spring cleaning, since it'll be full fam, or almost. once perfect afterall right ?

2005-12-28T21:38:00.001+08:00

but i will fight for you,
be sure that i will fight

i finished my math today ! :D yay so ive only english and chinese left ! and i think im going to do work tmrw also, so ! ill probably be done with everything by the time school reopens (:

studied, then caught narnia ! it was nice ! :D but so cold ): haha.

i dont know what ill do without my phone. haha madness, why did i do that.

2005-12-23T19:56:00.000+08:00

i saw a side of you i should never have. can you stop being such a hypocrite ): dont act if you dont mean it. its not that hard to tell you know. just, drop the pretence. im sure you know who you are by now. and all i can say is, im sorry i ever got close to you. its just not worth it.

2005-12-21T11:18:00.000+08:00

WHY. thats all i want to know and thats what YOU CANT EVER ANSWER.

wtf.

2005-12-20T21:24:00.000+08:00

birthday today :D went with darr yingying jialing DAmillie liying jeremy lucas to swensens ! we had giant earthquake and i got a free firehouse :D it was good (: but liying left at two ): mm then we left and headed to fareast after FLIPPING A COIN. haha. lucas left !

went shopping :D there was one shop, we were inside the fitting room for AGES, but we came out without buying anything haha ! such asses :D ive no idea how jeremy found entertainment ? we were all looking at clothes and all la. haha the only thing i bought was a toering.

ohhhhhh i went to cut my hair before that. at supercuts, with my dearest cyy :D haha but my darr messed it up immediately when i came out ? ): my nicenice hair ! haha. i think it looks the same. HAHA. waste my money :D i like the stylist la ! eyecandy (:

we walked and walked and WALKED. til about six ? then went to meet dinah yeewen at the station (: sorry i had to leave so early okay !

went back to woodlands, then met my mother. my father came to fetch, and we went for dinner. seafood ! again haha. i was quite bored, but nevermind (:

:DDDDD

FROM THE EARLIEST :D

thanks to SYLVIA JOANNA JERM JIALING XUN EUG&TANNY SIEWEN JESSICA YINGYING MINFANG ARIES YEEWEN XIAOMILLIE JINGYU DAMILLIE PEIQI KAIXIN LU ALLYSSA JINYEN GEOKHEOK MOTHER NIGHT WANNIE TAN FIONA ERI for remembering and wishing (:

thanks to JINGYU PEIQI for calling to wish (:

thanks to CHAR JERM for the mms (:

thanks to n312&n122 JERM for the birthday song (:

thanks to n312&n122 for the tiramisu and cross ! (:

thanks to FAM for the cake (PART ONE) and the chips (PART TWO) (:

thanks to DARR NIGHT QINGAIDE for the shirt (:

thanks to JOANNA SYLVIA JESSICA for the moon&star&heart necklace and the yes&no earrings (:

thanks to JESSICA for the calender (:

messages !

CHAR :D haha yours was one of the sweetest :D i was very happy okay ! STARS (: and i was so shocked at first, i thought you were in malaysia ! thanks :D i think ill give you your birthday present on friday (: because someone is grounded right ! haha. I LOVE YOUUU.

JERM :D your message rocks la ! :D BIRTHDAY SONG ! i was so so so touched :D my wifey has a nice voice right ? :D yesyes, i think yours is the sweetest of ALL. haha. and youre quite punctual ! gentlewoman ? haha ! i dont know (: I LOVE YOU ! :D my narnia okay ! dont forget (:

XUN :D thanks for remembering okay ! and im surprised, the timing was quite correct ? ((: i love you like nothing else la ! you mean the world to me woman :D

SIEWEN :D darr ! today rocked :D thanks okay ! and, you bought so many things ! i feel guilty ): thankyou :D LOVING MY DARR IS COMPULSORY ! rightright ? yes ! :D

JINGYU :D bear ! thanks for attempting to call at twelve :D its the thought that counts right ! haha i love my bear you know (: you were exceptionally SWEET lastnight. i wonder why (: haha thankyou ! you dont know how much you mean to me :D i wont see you for quite long i think ): SAD RIGHT. i know you are. haha. but you can go down on mondays/fridays ! :D

PEIQI :D thanks for the call ! eyecandyy :D and i know you tried your best to persuade HER. haha. i love you (: meet up soon ? :D

JESSICA :D thanks for going down to expo that day, for the two presents ! i didnt know the calender costs so much /: but its nice and meaningful ! you better stop using your EXPIRED chicky club membership card la ! you might look under twelve, but its still wrong (: macs parties :D haha ive upgraded to swensens. i was too high that day la, haha ! im not mad (: THANKYOU, I LOVE YOU ! and thanks for saying happy birthday over siewen's phone ah. i heard, "ey wish pan happy birthday" although she didnt think i heard. haha !

FAM :D thanks for the PARTONE/PARTTWO. i dont know, is it possible to mend us ? /: i hope so. no other clique can compare to us, reallyreally. i love all of you like nobody else, and i appreciate that you all tried. yes including tan's "my house is not a proper place". thankyou ah ! :D we'll be okay again. im feeling optimistic (:

THANKS TO EVERYONE ! :D

2005-12-19T17:43:00.000+08:00

why must you spread everything. you can keep some things to yourself right. dont say sorry if you dont mean it la. at least then i wouldnt think of you as a hypocrite right. and the saddest thing is i still care about you. i hate it okay, but it hurts that we're like this right now. and what you told, do you know that its not even true. im trying okay, im trying very hard. and i dont need reminders of that night. you're the cause of this pain, and wtf, you dont even know it. you matter more to them than i do anyway, so why should i care right. why should i continue staying. it doesnt matter how anyone puts it, you're nothing but a filthy hypocrite. and i feel sorry for myself that i didnt see that sooner, i didnt realise that until NOW. the only regret i have is that i trusted you, that i love you still.

on a brighter note, candlelight service was veryvery pretty :D

spent tdy at tan's house watching SAN GE HAO REN. haha its nice ! for some reason. i cried :D thanks for the CAKE haha.

and its my birthday tmrw (:

2005-12-17T00:02:00.000+08:00

nice day, again. its meiyings birthday (:

why is it that i always feel so, wrong in the nights ? ): i dont know, but, im kindof thinking of someone whos away ? and i think i shouldnt. its a weird feeling /: but HAIYO i dont care anymore.

and i wont be in singapore for xmas ! meaning, no svc, no carnival for me ): ey i know somehow it doesnt seem like much, but its to me. bahhh rightnow i just want you to come back.

i miss you la. stupid woman.

2005-12-15T22:57:00.000+08:00

ive got a new eyecandyy ! :D but notice, its eyecandyY, with double y, because the eyecandy is too important. go on and guess who she is ! so exciting :D haha. ill be seeing her tmrw, so im happy (: honoured right woman !

day out was fun (: quite boring in a sense, but actually it was interesting, because the person i was with was interesting ? i suppose :D i got my candy ! which was the happiest part. haha i think so (: we sat in marina square talking more than doing work la please. and im sad to say that my opinion of her changed ? as in, how can she say that of others when she herself did it ): but haiyo, its quite gross and im like super traumatised ): bitching is bad, yesyes. it makes me reflect on people, and i dont think thats good ): nobody is perfect ! so i shouldnt. yes. shes a veryvery good friend, i wouldnt lose her for the world :D

this tuesday is what day ? haha i dont expect you all to know, dont worry :D

2005-12-14T17:20:00.000+08:00

i was in the macs near my house for the whole day today. O.O okay not whole, from when i woke up ! which was.. one thirty. but i stayed til five okay ! to do my work. haha but, i think one and a half hours (AT LEAST) was spent either staring into space/messaging/talking/eating/listening to the people :D

the people, haha ! i was sitting there staring into space and they came ! theyre from this church near my house, and he talked for so very long (: but, the girl's really cute ? and she looks like my junior la ! i was tempted to ask whether she has a sister but i didnt la, ill ask if theres fate and she asks me to go for service (: i gave her my number you see. HAHA. maybe theyre really dangerous people ): how ! haha.

ANYWAY, i managed to complete all that i wanted to :D which is, not alot. but nevermind la :D atleast i did some work ! but, i was ready to sleep by the time i felt like leaving. haha. and i take ages to finish food ): like this whole family, complete with little kids, came in and had lunch, and i was there for like half an hour alrd, and they finished all their food way before i did ! and yes i was concentrating on eating, not work. so, ):

JERM ! you didnt tell me you were leaving know ): and i didnt know til someone told me. anyway right, you know you have this friend named zhiwei right ! HOW SHE KNOW IM YOUR HUBBY ! i was so paiseh when my junior told me like she knew me and everything. you ah ! and you didnt message me when youre back ): awe someone wants to book me ! :D im happy. haha you want to be my birthday date ? :D but ey, message/call me when you see this okay ? i want to ask you smth :D <3 !

yesyes, and if anyone wants to study (study asin, talk/eat/walk, RELAXING STUDY), come book me ! because im grounded, so i dont think i can go out til my birthday that period :D im intending for that period to start on sunday, so ! haha. please come find me okay, studying alone is scary. what if i meet weird people, and not nice christians like tdy ? im desperate :D

SLEEP IS DIVINE :D

I might need you to hold me tonight, I might need you to say it's alright.

2005-12-13T19:41:00.000+08:00

im finally in a good mood (: thanks to someone :D last night was shit, until someone came online (:

XUN ! haha i was in a really bad mood til you came. then because we were talking about you, it made your coming all the more magical (: and you made me smile when i saw my guestbook (: you thought of me in school ! thats what i call sweet :D ill reply gmail, when ive gotten over the issue abit more okay ? because im going to tell you about the whole entire thing, so you'll have to wait til i can talk about it without feeling much. im sorry ! :D butbut, please be honoured la, you can ask your elmo how angsty i was before you came ! yes it was that bad. and the three words that sum all this up, all over again, I MISS YOU.

i knew i loved you before i met you,
i think i dreamt you into life :D

YES YOU, SENIOR :D i love you.

2005-12-13T11:14:00.000+08:00

I THINK YOU'RE A BLOODY HYPOCRITE ):

2005-12-12T23:04:00.000+08:00

why is it that whenever i feel like my life is getting back on track after a period of serious downs, it has to go back to being depressing. pain teaches us to grow doesnt it. so why dont all of you stop objecting. its your objections in the first place that made it come to this, cant you see ? being unsupportive doesnt help, it just makes everything that much more difficult. and im sorry i violated your trust and respect, i never knew you'd feel so strongly. whatever i say wont help, and it is my fault, so im telling you here that youre welcome to hate me for the rest of your life, whichever way you want to show your anger, i promise i wont complain at all. i deserve it dont i. i hate the way youre so suspicious about my every action, its like there has to be a motive behind everything i do, i cant just do things for the sake of it anymore without you suspecting anything. saying what you want to say doesnt help, cant you see by now ? its been so long, you know that ill just go against you, because its important to me. i dont care how you see it, we learn from our mistakes. if all this has been a mistake, i promise ill turn back before its too late, but the thing is, i dont think that it is. in fact, i think youre the one making the mistakes. youre just bringing more pain and anger upon yourself by objecting, because you know ill do everything i can in my power to go. let me grow up on my own will you. your care is suffocating.

somebody signed my guestbook. im fascinated. ill leave the comments to you KIDS haha

Name: Jonathan Craig
Email: Not Entered
Comments: I believe that we should never pollute the ocean because it would harm all the fish. Fishing is also an act of murder as well! So make sure that you don't put your rubbish in the sea or down a drain because it is very dangerous for all the little fish. Always put your rubbish in the bin. I also believe that watching the Simpsons and listening to Avril Laveen and Brittany Spears is very bad. Never watch the Simpsons or the Rugrats because they are silly shows. Listen to Patsy Cline. She's got this really good song out now called Walkin' After Midnight and I absolutely love it! I'm sure that all the other kids at school love it as well!

2005-12-11T21:16:00.000+08:00

I FORGOT.

def polluted my cheek ):

so did my darr ):

2005-12-11T17:27:00.000+08:00

why is it that im always the one getting left out, but you, all of you, put the blame on me every single time ? its not enough that ive my problems alrd right, you must continue putting more stress on me. why dont you try putting yourself in my position, think about how you'd feel. its back to this again isnt it. and its me once again.

ive just about given up the fight. i dont want to know what all of you expect from me anymore. ive tried my very best, dont you think its about time i get a break ?

i never knew a house can be so oppressing, just as i never really understood what hypocrites all of you can be. i still dont understand it, and i dont want to. i'd rather remain ignorant. nobody says a word when any of you get pissed, but when i do, you know very well what you do.

allow me this one night, when i dont have to deal with your questions, your suspicions. ill smile for you tmrw, ill do everything you expect me to. yesterday was bad enough, it has been a long time since i was slapped. i really do have enough problems, dont add to them.

ill trust in God (: service was awesome, so were the people :D sometimes i really think its in church that im ever truly happy for the whole entire time. and i was you know, in spite of her (: thanks for the support okay ! and im really glad the person with the difficult to pronounce name came. haha def ! pray :D everythings possible, yesyes (:

XUN :D i keep thinking of you, because the nametags are on my table instead of in my bag. i really want to see you, to talk to you ): I MISS YOU.

2005-12-08T21:11:00.001+08:00

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like
The walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and
People can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door
And you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

'Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

i wrote alot of that for tan :D at the library, yesterday ! haha.

i was home for most of tdy, sleeping ! til noon, then i got up and was online til three (: went for cgm after :D haha all sn people behave the same way ! we were at the control station, then bear and i were sitting at the big map there (we were tired, you see) while millie didnt. bear told me that this other person sitting down there also was ex-sn, so i was like, huh shes a girl meh. haha okay i really couldnt tell la ! then the discovery of the century..

as bear so kindly pointed out to me, we could see her sports bra. okay.

yes (: and we went. im excited to go to expo (: haha !

walked back, met my mother. shes so amusing la okay. we went up to the furniture shop, she showed me the sofa she ordered (that i cant wait to sleep on, it looks comfy) and showed me the chair she wanted to buy. i was like, not nice and she just said okay, lets go. SEE ! theres where i get my indecisiveness from. its not my fault (:

thenthenthen, the ohsosmart tan decided to inform me that she has gotten her sea sports club card alrd, causing me to want it so badly that i decided to go downstairs for it (: haha its worth it ? i dont know, i have no more space for it. but i put it where everyone can see it anyway, because its new and shiny and pretty (: haha yes thats the journey.

theres prep tmrw (: full schoolu, i dont like ): i hope nobody decides to check belt, because i think im going to pluck it out from the new pinafore in five minutes. its so BLOODY HIGH, and my mother doesnt want to sew it for me, so there.

then its orange bowl (: hopefully its open (: and HOMEWORK ! oh what esctasy, i managed to log on to epebble and print out and to my horror, theres..

CHINESE ! )):

but i want to read joy luck club, it looks nice to me (: haha and i think the playgrounds a nice place to read it, so peaceful ! maybe ill do that tmrw (: but i think not, i prefer playing with my cousin :D haha hes so SMALL and he calls me xin jiejie okay ! :D so keai (: im his star :D haha or so i wish.

the wind in my hair and the sand at my feet (:

I MISS CHOONG XUNNING ): okay thats so random, but wth, i havent talked to her in 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 billion years okay ):

XUNXUNXUN ! ill be counting down to the day you come back. im taking the earliest date, i dont care. if im sad, you'll be the one who gave me false hopes ): actually its not all that random, the song happened to play me that line, which led to thinking about your blog, which led to gmail, which led to your return date, which led to..

MISSING YOU ):

come back soon please !

hurry back home to me (: I LOVE YOU. please date me ! :D

2005-12-04T17:23:00.000+08:00

IM BACK (: haha. stc ! (: this will be a very long, very detailed post, dont worry :D

day one

woke up at, five plus. tan, lu and i all couldnt sleep, but the night before was fun. we talked for a longlong time (: mm then washed up and everything, went to take bus, trained to bishan, took loo's car to sea sports club (:

campers rotted outside for a longlong while before they opened the gates to admit us. haha was quite enjoyable ? :D i like.

kayaked with my propro ! went around the.. sea. we were caught in a huge storm out in sea okay ! so freaky. the raindrops were like really sharp and all, i was scared (: i thought i was going to die la ! haha. propro and i capsized quite a distance away from shore. the wind was HUGE. okay here comes the funny part. while we were trying to walk to shore, SOMETHING squirted black ink. i didnt know, til propro told me. apparently when i got my head out of the water (i was falling) one HALF of my face was black. my kayaking shirt is black ? SQUID. haha everyone laughed like mad at me.

there was this sandstorm thing, the sand was blowing everywhere. imagine carrying kayaks back to the club in that storm ! but we managed (: everyone was like, experience of a lifetime while pan was still there thinking about the scary squid and being frozen.

washed the kayaks, bathed (HEADS UNDER TAPS !), walked to the jetty. took boat to ubin, and we walked to the campsite (: our squad new favourite song besides when we get to heaven is five hundred miles :D haha.

cooked dinner, then we.. played a game. a card game (: IMITATE THE CAT. haha. it was fun, reallyreally ! lights out after that. did sentry, had gross barley /:

day two

breakfast, then we went for low ropes obstacles (: didnt do alot, cuz we did during atc alrd, so it was mostly the sec threes trying them out (: it was nice watching though. haha. but ey, gross helmet ! ):

went back to campsite, lunch ! i cant remember the rest. i think it was bagpacking. yes it was. IT WAS MENTAL TORTURE OKAY. we seriously didnt know what the cis wanted to accomplish, but whatever they meant to do, it so wasnt right. while the few of us COOKED, they were being forced to pack bags and the thing is, we couldnt figure out the difference between our two groups. wtf, tan and i were pissed beyond anything, and now i feel bad that i was actually very happy when one of us told YOU, very amusing right. im sorry now but at that time, it was just very nice to hear someone voice out what all of us were feeling.

TOPO WAS LAME.

went back to the jetty, back to singapore ! took bus to pasir ris, we had our dinner (: then walked to pasir ris park, pitched tents. all i can say is that we tried. we really did try hard, as a campus. we might had taken alot of time, but, we DID try.

slept, no sentry.

day three

breakfast, HONEYSTARS :D couldnt finish though haha.

headed back to school on a bus (: we had fun singing the songs (: haha it was really pure self entertainment. pitched tents, cooked. then it was returning some of our punishments. ey, i cant say that was nice, cuz it wasnt.

headed for, lower pierce. singalong session ! haha.

started outdoor cooking after that. i fried the noodles -.- wth, my only entertainment was the people around ? but on the plus side, they WERE entertaining. haha but someone burnt her hand ):

then during the eating part, puay, jan and i left to help evelyn with embers. after that it was left with me with her. shes VERY nice (: and cute haha.

went back, ATE.

then came the concert. loo is nice to lie on (: and jay chou rocks :D

blindfold thing, so hard ! i couldnt see a THING, i felt very stupid. then came basha building. i dont know what to say. it wasnt much, just a neutral thing. cos, sorry we made you both ask for time extensions so many times.

day four

breakfast ! cleared, returned ALL punishments (: so fun. we ran from the green end of the level to the upper forum that end (: and we sang ! I ASK MY LOVE ((: i was super high ? haha like singing to each other only, not even punishment ! finished seven times, ran back, not considered eight la hor ? :D down to track, mass situps ! INSTRUCTORS SUPER NICE LA ! i thought we surely will die trying to return everything, but they allowed mass (: THANKYOU :D haha stupid, im glad you didnt injure your hand further. not like, its LOVE MA (: nice also ! i liked that part :D

haha i like the camp tee. im wearing it now (:

in all, stc was.. nice. haha.

2005-11-30T17:58:00.000+08:00

the reality is starting to sink in only now. stc is tmrw, im truly very scared, but, i dont want to show it ? it feels weird, im half looking forward, half dreading it like mad. but one thing im sure of, we'll come out from stc a more bonded campus, a more bonded squad (: and thats a good thing, no matter what. and the lunch after breaking camp will be WONDERFUL (:

i cant wait for later (: we're going to ntuc ! haha i managed to stuff everything (including my SHOEBAG, tell me im pro.) into my schoolbag. yes (: but, tan and i will be carrying BIG BULGING BULKY bags to guitar. he'll surely look at us like we're mad ): i dont want !

omg im scared ): i really am. i cant help but hope that its like, a month away still. and we already owe so much ! how are we ever going to return ): stc is supposed to be FUN, enjoyable but now, i seriously doubt ? ): and no, its not your fault propro. whole campus owe one, we ought to return as a campus (: dont be selfish campus, only think about yourself ! so dua pai somemore (: haha dont be la okay, its not your fault, seriously !

the #1 wish ; MY TAN :D darkdarkdark ! yesyes. and.. muscles ? /: i doubt. haha. pleaseplease message me okay, so that ill have something to read ): actually i dont care, anyone who reads this with my number MUST msg me (:

and randomness, but, im watching Zathura with cheryl (: and i havent talked to her in how many billion years ? :D i cant wait, reallyreally !

I LOVE MY PROPRO LIKE DONT KNOW WHAT (: dont feel guilty ! i want to owe too (: dont deprive me (:

GO CEREDONS (: and the NPC :D

2005-11-29T22:20:00.000+08:00

SLEEPOVER TMRW ! FINALLYFINALLY :D yay im happy.

we're wacky ! haha I WANTA SEE STARS :D one last time before we leave for ubin, BYEBYE ): tmrw will NOT end, if we want it hard enough right ? :D nono it wont ! no more stc ? haha i dont know. SO EXCITING KNOW ! howhow (:

I CANT WAIT (: im jumping in my seat, cant you see ?

2005-11-27T16:38:00.000+08:00

i met pan tday! so happy (((((((: i miss you too la haha i knw we will meet soon!
-as quoted from peiqi's blog.

see, im loved :D haha. im been rotting all day at home, but, im not bored STILL ? good (:

i wanta go kayaking ! im not TAN ): i dont put sunblock or anything but im still, not dark and nice like normal people get after being in the sun. i want to have BLACK skin ! :D

im sick know ! pleaseplease dont laugh at my voice tmrw. and i keep sneezing (: i drank one whole CUP of pipagao just now, as in really one BIG cup. its diluted la but wth, its gross. i thought it was nice (the way i remembered it, it was) so i mixed one HUGE cup and it grossed me out in the end.

theres trg tonight ! should i bother my cousin to come over (: haha i like company. and i think if shes coming over she'll sleep over. i want to go her house for sleepover instead, since theres prep tmrw :D i think ill know ! haha. ill see (: but, my father might be driving so quite nice ? :D maybe not la.

my friend is MAD. she wants to go normal acad in a good school so that she can get to express in sec2 ? i think ive convinced her not to (: but she doesnt want to tell me her marks yettttt, i think its 230 + (: not bad la.

CANDYYYYYYYYYYYY !

2005-11-26T21:49:00.000+08:00

TDY WAS A GOOD DAY :D

i woke up at eight (: accompanied my mother to hospital, then headed to town (: we lunched at Crystal Jade, I LIKE :D mm im a pig. haha then we walked around for veryvery long. SEE TOWN AGAIN ): im sick of town, reallyreally !

ohyes i think my mum and i have really same taste ? you know theres this Florida's Natural candy out. okay if you dont go look at 7-11, theyve got the candy right at the counter. yeah anyway ! we went into 7-11 before hospital, i was eyeing it (: then before i went home i headed to 7-11 again, and i almost bought it ? but i didnt la. then when i got home ! it was on my table (: im addicted to it alrd, so nice ! haha.

okay i shall continue. went to meet dinah and her two friends ? nah dyed her hair ! its like ORANGE. its nice la. haha. theyre SO AMUSING. its funny la okay ! haha. i laughed through the entire bus ride la, seriously. then we reached, we were later than peiqi and jia they all ?! what the ): praise and worship was goodgoodgood ? i was VERY HIGH, especially after service (:

mahmah ! :D youre unfaithful ): kiss yeye ! hai ): longlongLONG hug ! :D i think it was really very long ? haha but so nice (: cgm ):

then trained home with peiqi and her senior (: mahmah walked us to bus stop ! her senior's very cute la haha. i saved her number as peiqi's senior :D oops.

TANNNNNNNNN ! sorry okay ): i really meant it jokingly ? sorrysorry dont angry please !

Expo, so soon (: eug is coming with me for first week service there ! :D im excited. haha.

im sleepy (:

2005-11-25T23:02:00.000+08:00

today was a super funnnnnn day ? :D

first i had tuition. during tuition a cat came in and my teacher was freaked out, she just stood up really fast and asked why there was a cat. haha so cute.

then i went, somewhere (: quite entertaining ! haha i saw my dearest benedict (; hes p2 next year ! so CUTE la okay :D but, he ignored me ? kind of, i think he was shy ! :D

TOWNNNNNN. again, yes. but i finally got to see the P person ! :D and the D person, and the Q person. haha ! how amusing, i had pasta (: CHEESE :D mm almost went Candy Empire with them, but i had trg ): so i left for my cousin's place.

i seriously love that place la ! the people are all sososo nice, and really entertaining. AND, theres always the off chance that ill get to see SOMEONE (: but her friend told me she hardly comes, only when she feels like it. i was so disappointed la okay ): nevermind, i shall continue going ! maybe ill see her, ONEDAY :D

classes out only on 30th december ): IM SAD. famfamfamfam pleasepleaseplease ! I WANT, so badly ! ): i think i get all the info quite fast, haha but none of it is because of myself (: mostly its TAN SHU-YEE RACHEL :D so must feel honoured okay. haha.

2005-11-24T09:16:00.000+08:00

why am i online at 920 when ive got tuition at 1030 and tons of homework i just started on (: haha holiday tuition is lame, i dont like ! i feel like such a nerd everytime :D but wth, the teacher is veryvery nice and funny.

why is it that nobody has offered to make me a new template ? ): please ? ill love you forever, i promise :D

& to the person on the tag whose name starts with D, IM SAD LOR ): i really am ! is Christmas coming ? :D

to the P person, you were still dao ): but i wont hold it against you, being the nice person that i am :D haha. WOAINI.

to the (: person, why you leaving ? dont want to see me right, I KNEW IT LOR ! haha.

to the S person, yes (: soon ? haha i dont like messaging much, these few weeks. SO, ill msg you, when i feel like it ? im a pig (:

2005-11-23T21:25:00.000+08:00

i shall blog a very long, very detailed entry :D

today

met tan in woodlands, i was EARLY ! then went to meet loo, lu, POKPOK :D, simba, beijin, vivien (: mm took bus to tampines, then another bus to seasportsclub (: reached late, sorry Ceredons ! took kayaks, i didnt carry with my Pro Pro ):

i kayaked with XIANGLING :D haha shes very nice ! ohno, i write til so big, later she read how ? ): tsk nevermind, shes really very nice ! capsizing was scary the first time, but it was nice the second time (: i really just anyhow kick and struggle ? haha.

tan, lu, loo and i ate the banana for lunch :D we bought and headed back, but not that early ? quite late actually. i look gay / actbung / actcool /actEVERYTHING according to them ): okay lor, ill go put hair extensions :D

mm went for more kayaking, did the capsize and recover thing ? i forgot what its called (: but its very fun :D haha.

am i tanner (: i think im know ! abit (: i will be TAN after stc :D its all i have to look forward to actually. i cant wait for it to be over ): and my Potato Balls was rejected :D quite expected la hor, let me be sad anyway !

ohoh i broke another nail ! just.

went for dinner in Changi Village after washing up ( bathing with LOOLUTAN, GROSS ! ) ey i dont mean the people, just, bathing with so many people in general ): thennnnn tan and i tried to go down for guitar, but ! so lateee :D the lesson was over alrd. haha i think i really am tanner, i can kind of, see a difference (: i like.

yesterday

went to town with JERMAINE KOH JIA NA :D haha she bought me a nice, HUGE, cute frog lolly that will turn into my prince after i kiss it (: im not going to, ill keep it there forever ! :D so pretty and everything.

kbox )): so COLD, i was freezing the entire time ! and, i cant sing. haha. mm we had cookies though ! wifey sings well (:

OH she was carrying my present all around town ? :D embarrassing right, haha i know you like anyway ! its cute :D

headed to her house after that (: then we went for prata, then i went home ! haha the bus took FOREVER. and, im sorry i kept you ? /: you could've gone home earlier !

SO, thats a very happy twodays spent :D FAM ROCKS !

2005-11-18T18:47:00.000+08:00

happy birthday jerm :D im sorry i didnt message you, i was awake, but, i forgot ? ohno sorry ): i love my wifey like mad :D tuesday ! haha. enjoy okay :D

i realise that i havent been feeling much lately, it has just been a very boring cycle of going out and coming back home, and i somehow havent been enjoying much ? ):

im getting very scared for someone. the way she messages, im like reading what i myself would send. thats quite an uncomfortable feeling, i dont like ? okay it might not be ME, exactly, but, i think its ? and no, thats not a good thing. if you know who you are, please stop ? its really very uncomfortable, and scary.

Vodka and a packet of cigarettes says:
no ! HARRY TOOK OFF HIS SHIRT !
Peace # coral sea says:
haha.
Vodka and a packet of cigarettes says:
SO SHUAI
Vodka and a packet of cigarettes says:
GOT SCARS !
Vodka and a packet of cigarettes says:
ON HIS BODY !
Vodka and a packet of cigarettes says:
AARGH

eug is a pervert (: haha. i love my Snape, my Sirius (:

tmrw's kayaking. i wanta go for svc ? ): im veryvery broke. i spend too much ):

2005-11-17T14:37:00.000+08:00

i like night (: three am is a good time to reach home, the sky's not light, not dark that kind of thing, and its so nice and cold :D i like :D

tmrw is, prep ? ): i dont wanta go ! prep is a waste of time, and nothing ever gets done anyway. sleeping would be more constructive. starts at eight tmrw know ):

nice ear :D and i like the tuition teacher, haha.

2005-11-16T22:40:00.000+08:00

omg my primary school friend has TWOSTAR alrd ? what kind of madness is this ): im jealous okay !

town again today ! tan and i were both late to meet loo, cuz she forgot to off her aircon switch ! :D and, we saw some very amusing people (;

ill be rotting at home tmrw ! i think. til i go out for awhile ? then its back home. haha. ive tuition ): what a loser ): i dont wanttttttt, got homework one know ! havent done yet. haha.

i planned a lousy outing la :D haha we didnt do evaluation in the end what !

tan and i went to look for JOBS. 99.9% didnt want us ): i like sakae. haha too bad im not sixteen. we're getting experienced in asking, excuse me are you looking for part-timers ? :D i asked most of the time okay ! lousy tan :D

we were late for guitar, again ! its the first time in a longlong time that he has praised any of us ? nice song, its easy to play. haha.

then we went to look for jobs again -.- bread shops are awkward. and we were both bored alrd :D THEN i came home and my dearest mother says she doesnt want me to work :D haha we'll see ! it looks fun. haha.

im watching the midnight Harry Potter show :D with my brother ! haha actually i wanted midnight Emily Rose, but dont have ):

im sick of town alrd, how ! HAHA its like only third week of holidays, and ive been to town so often ? its far know. haha. and im going again, tuesday ? dearest wifey's birthday is on friday ! :D but, can we not go kbox ? PLEASE LA ): i know its your birthday and all, but, i dont wanta sing ! ): im so nice to you alrd, say we wont go ? :D

2005-11-15T14:12:00.000+08:00

i realise that today is the only day since the start of the holidays that ive actually.. stayed at home. ohno ):

Kill Bill is a freaky show, but, i like :D

2005-11-14T18:54:00.000+08:00

exactly how old do you take me for. maybe its time you opened your eyes and actually looked around. ive turned out ALOT better than many people, and i know that whatever im doing now, ill be proud to admit that i did later in life. i cant say the same for what youre doing to me now though. why dont you just, let me be ? our lives would both be alot easier.

wtf )): go awayyyyyyyy.

ill just, trust (: im sure things will all turn out fine. yesyes, but, STOP CONTROLLING ME LA. gosh, im not p3 okay, im practically sec3 alrd ): wtf.

2005-11-13T18:10:00.000+08:00

kayaking was fun :D

woke up at seven, took bus to khatib, trained, and decided i was too lazy to go look for fam in macs. haha i was third earliest in the squad (:

pan cannot capsize. yesyes.

i left at four ): christina tan is nice know ! haha conv ;

pan: -passes her the keys
her: are you going to bathe ?
pan: err yes ma'am
her: -looks at me. are you okay being in there alone ? need me to accompany you ?

:DDDDDDDD i started laughing. haha

then ! siewen came up only at 430 ? /: no cabs wanted us lor ! walk here walk there, they still dont wanta fetch us ? then when we got the cab, the uncle only heard boonlay, then he drove us to boonlay and told us we shouldve said cityharvest when WE DID.

so ex, then couldnt even go svc ? )): went for cic with cyy after that, i was SO HIGH. i think i was distracting her alot, haha.

went back down, cabbed home with dinah ! :D haha im broke, beyond anything. i have ZERO CENT left, how pathetic ):

but ill be meeting jerm & liyin tmrw ! one thirty in school (: anyone wants to join us ? :DDDD msg me okay ! ill be bored if ive to leave immediately after seeing mr foo, and jerm has trg after, so ! please :D

tan ! if you see this before tmrw, then call me ? go school ! haha polish boots. STILL unpolished, tsk ! :D youre free right. and i can meet you downstairs later tonight, we're so near ! haha call me la okay.

2005-11-12T00:05:00.000+08:00

paint paint paint, how nice /: if only, if only. maybe oneday, ill. maybe tonight. i dont care about expectations anymore, no more promises ): you didnt keep it anyway. so that frees me from what i said ?

goodnight is the best way to end this. i like ranting, it makes me feel better. but tonight. im so mixed up /:

goodnight world. dont comment tmrw.

2005-11-11T23:09:00.000+08:00

theres kayaking tmrw ! im happyyyyy. and, somehow tan always manages to amuse me, SO MUCH.

pretty pretty picture . says:
wahaha pad is damn cuteee .
Peace # says:
yuck
pretty pretty picture . says:
wahah .
pretty pretty picture . says:
yifang cuter right.
Peace # says:
nola
Peace # says:
SETH TAN : D
pretty pretty picture . says:
!!
pretty pretty picture . says:
no !
pretty pretty picture . says:
TAN
pretty pretty picture . says:
SHU
pretty pretty picture . says:
-
pretty pretty picture . says:
YEE
pretty pretty picture . says:
RACHEL

and its not even amusing. except for the names, laugh la :D im amused anyway.

np was, as usual la. except i kind of liked precamp. HAHA im mad. i like pt :D it burns fats, kindof ! haha but tdy was quite a bad day, my ankle went mad AGAIN, so pain ! but it acted up after punishments la, so it was okay ? kind of /:

orientation prep was kanasai. i hope they dont approve loo's idea ?! BLOW UNTIL I BLOW UP LOR. not so much breath okay ):

tmrw will be NICE. and, pretty pretty picture (: it is ! :D

i dont wanta wake up tmrw. I NEED SLEEP. sleep is #1, it comes before everything. and i dont want to eat breakfast. its too freaking early for FOOD. /:

tdy is not a nice day ):

2005-11-09T22:09:00.000+08:00

i paint a pretty picture,
i paint it with a twist.
i paint it with with a razor blade,
i paint it on my wrist.
and if i paint it correctly,
a fountain will appear.
and in this red bloody fountain,
my troubles disappear.

:D SO TRUE :D

macs tdy with tan, mistress, simba ! i dont, sit decently ? CHAR SAY ONE /: i do okay. haha i was wearing my brother's shirt, cuz, its nice and big (: the swan has feelings okay, stupid simba ! it'll feel HURT if you call it ugly. apologise (: she did, haha ! so cute. mm discussed abit, then went to cut hair with tan :D

yes AGAIN. haha he didnt charge me, he recognised me, im shocked. yes its VERY short, what nonsense, no touching collar ? my dearest hair has been touching second collar since, the start of this year -.- or since lastyear, i cant remember. BLAH anything. i cut it /: ugly ? haha its not bad la. i dont look like a boy, right. yesyes ! :D

i like, The Corrs. i dont have alot of their songs but what i do have, are quite nice. & when tmrw comes, we'll just do it all again (: i dontknowwwww, i like the voice. haha SUMMER SUNSHINE, I MISS YOU :DD the voice at the part is nice (:

then went to school, i saw dearest jerm ): so paiseh ! and some other people, but, yes her. haha. went to ntuc, then library (: nice, fun time. i didnt sit properly again, i like honeystars, chyesim (youknow the triple a one they sell :D the kind you eat with porridge when youre sick. NICE RIGHT, i think the spellings wrong, char provided) and, porridge. yes :D

go listen to one last breath, Creed :D so nice. my playlist rocks.

i wanta go for Tabernacle ): ill go for last week i think. i want kayaking to end at four :D

hold me now, im six feet from the edge, and im thinking, maybe six feet aint so far down (:

yesyes i dontknow, i think ill have to go to school tmrw. ILLEGAL MEETING LA, meet somewhere else ? no sense. BLAH. and ive to go down to khatib after that for some, family thing ? so annoying ): farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ! AND, ive got tuition before ive to leave for school. kanasai ): whoever has holiday tuition ? MAD.

anyone who sees, i dont care ah, go to school tmrw. dont leave til five. you can go at two thirty. haha i dont wanta go alone. my group might be funny, but sitting there laughing for like, three entire hours is, stomach tiring. HAHA. go ah, just tell me you came for me and go look for me /: ill be damn bored.

faith hill has nice songs too (:

jerm is doing cip tmrw /: kanasai, i dont wanta do lib cip, but i can go there and rot. id rather, and not go school. boring ): and ive to leave by five ? what rubbish, so early. i dont wanta wear pe shirt /: its, not nice. new/old ? haha

GO TO SCHOOL PLEASE ): yes.

TAN YOUR HAIR'S VERY NICE LA OKAY. think too much :D

2005-11-06T21:55:00.000+08:00

tdy was good, & not good at the same time. BUT im glad tan came (: & im happy we had the song so many times.

tdy is supposed to be a happy day, but, i suppose we just dont have that connection anymore. we arent as close as before, & ive to say, i dont think we'll, ever again. now, when i really think about it, i cant figure out how we ever got so close /: i dont mean to say it was a bad thing, but, it makes this feeling all the worse, because i know we shared smth special once, & its hard to let go of that. HAI ):

math remedial tmrw ? i dont feel like going, hahah i might not. maybe ill oversleep (: til twelve, then ill go out ! BLAH.

THAT book is thick /: oops.

i never like it when friends drift apart. it gives this feeling of, aloneless ? i dontknow, i just dont like. &, im broke. anyone wants to donate ? haha

2005-11-05T23:51:00.000+08:00

savage garden rocks :D

CHOONG XUNNING ROCKS :D hahah im so happy, just talking to her, but SHES NOT SMILING CUZ OF ME, SHES SMILING CUZ OF HER SENIOR )): im very sad, how ? haii

went for THE class tdy /: dont laugh.

tan shu-yee rachel ! i love you like mad, reallyreally ! pig :DDDD you made me so happy :D you wont regret this okay, i promise ! LOVEYOU :D

im very sad, xun dontwant talk to me, shes showing someone her room -.-

" it was magic. says:
(wait, if i act wierd on the webcam, don't be scared cause i'm showing siewmin my room haa)

i wasnt scared, but its weird /: hahah.

I LOVE BITCHHHHHHH !

2005-11-04T22:56:00.000+08:00

sometimes when i say smth, i do mean it you know.

I LOVE MY BITCH. thanks for having been here all along, & yes you understand (: i do have a reason, infact i have alot of reasons. but, hahah i dontknow how to say them. LOVEYOU :D

precamp ! what utter rubbish ): but im happy la, wife got my present and she likes :D thats good ! hahah.

AUDREY LAI HUIRU IS BACKKKKKKK :D I LOVE.

2005-11-03T23:19:00.000+08:00

SKYHIGH ! :D hahah so nice. peace & the coolgirl ! :D but it was cold, and the ticket was ex /: BUT it was really nice. so superhero :D PEACEPEACEPEACE ! okayla, yours ): pig, im so giving okay ! hahah hes so SHUAI :DDDD

&&&&&& ! I BOUGHT MY IDOLS ALBUM :D so ! JERMAINE KOH, STOP SHOWING OFF. i have also ! hahah. his voice is, WAH CAN FAINT ONE OKAY. IM IN LOVE, ALL OVER AGAIN :DDDDD

so many things made me happy tdy ! tdy is a happy day :D saw SQUIRRELS :D in longjohns, how many fries and bear jam, cuz youre an idiot :D hahah. then there was that LONE STAR, which was so lonely ): but it was nice seeing the STAR anyway :D

so rubbish, the places we went :D yishun, thomson, bishan, town, DOUHUA SHOP (yes the school one), woodlands /:

hmv sells my idols cd cheaper than sembawang okay /: it was 19.90 YESTERDAY ?! what kanasai ): blah i dontlike.

SKYHIGH SKYHIGH SKYHIGH ! GO WATCH, :D

i enjoyed tdy :D HOPEFULLY, veryvery hopefully, ill see you 730 on saturday :D but, i really dont think so, but wth, HAVE FAITH :D

im going to see the squad tmrw :D gosh i cant imagine reporting next year, twenty present ): TWENTY ! its not right, truly not ): ill miss her, i really will, )):

2005-11-02T18:45:00.000+08:00

But if it falls theres no place to run says:
CHANGE THAT PART OF UR POST !
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
CHANGE
nothing gold can stay ; says:
dont wanttt
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
SAY I LOVE TAN
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
):
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
MEAN ASS
nothing gold can stay ; says:
okayokay ill go blog now : D
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
HAHA
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
SAY
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
'ITS NOT MY FAULT'
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
MAKE SURE YOU BLOG THAT DOWN ( :

tans mad, but yesyes i love tan ! hahah i enjoyed tdy with you all, although it was only for a short while and i was VERY late. phone on silent okay ! :D sorryyyyyyy

hello unidentified ! maybe ill know who you are, tell me your name ? or atleast what class youre from la (: but okay, it is ! why are you so curious, hahah ! nevermind (:

TANS AMUSING ME.

But if it falls theres no place to run says:
i bet she crush u
nothing gold can stay ; says:
HAHAH
nothing gold can stay ; says:
THANKYOU !
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
yuck
nothing gold can stay ; says:
PAN'S SO CRUSHABLE.
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
i bet she hates u then.
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
HATES (:
nothing gold can stay ; says:
):
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
DASH IS IRRITATING LOR
nothing gold can stay ; says:
WHYYYYYY
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
HE KEEP BARKING THE SISSY BARK
nothing gold can stay ; says:
I LOVE DASH
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
AT THE PINK BALL
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
HAHA
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
DAMN SISSY (:
nothing gold can stay ; says:
IM THE PRESIDENT OF THE ILOVEDASH CLUB
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
haha.
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
!!!!!!
nothing gold can stay ; says:
DASH IS NOT SISSY !
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
you know
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
he
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
can
nothing gold can stay ; says:
SO MANLY, MY HUBBY !
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
walk on two legs
nothing gold can stay ; says:
ADORABLE MAN : D
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
or rather \: jump a distance
nothing gold can stay ; says:
SO CUTE : DDD I LOVE DASH
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
more adorable than pan .
nothing gold can stay ; says:
)):
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
PIG
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
u are a pig ok .
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
your shoe stinks la
But if it falls theres no place to run says:
i can SMELL the dp.
nothing gold can stay ; says:
EY ?

i love dash, im mrs dash ! :D

FOUR; why dont you just put your NAME oneday pig ! hahah youve got fatnose, happyface, sadface, and now four ? /: mm, prata ! hahah eat more. healthy (: cant wait for tmrw LA okay :D COUNSELLOR ! loveyou (: thanks for lastnight :DD

2005-11-01T19:49:00.000+08:00

JERMAINE KOH JIA NA ! ):
HOW CAN YOU ):
IM JEALOUS LIKE MAD,
MY IDOL ! ):

2005-11-01T01:41:00.000+08:00

what happened between you two. i really dontknow what to say, this is so confusing. was your post directed at them? and, i dontknow, this might be offending, but i think you should just forgive her. asin, yes its dumb, but at that particular moment, both of them, and me too, felt that the pain's nice and everything. i guess, i dontknow. but anyway, im sorry okay. im sorry i did it, that i wasnt there on friday, i havent been here for so long. i love you more than you'll ever know, i hope you know that ? but i suppose you dont, i dontknow. just, ill be here if you need me, smile okay !

and okay, i admit, i have no right to be angry, but i am anyway, abit. i really have no right to say this, but, i think you shouldnt have done it. im sorry okay, i know its just in the heat of the moment or smth, but i just need to say this. i know it might be my fault ? i think if i hadnt done it, maybe you wouldnt have, then she wouldnt have, i dontknow. sorry anyway, and, be happy ? i love you. cheerup la, i dontknow what to say, other than sorry ? LOVE.

okay now i have no mood to blog. to unidentified, who are you ? it might be natural, it might be dyed (: who are you la hahah.

butbut, CHIANGMAI ROCKS. im promoting (: go, i promise youll never regret ! :D its really very nice.

last day for subj combi (: single ? i dontknowwwwwww.

FOUR; why are you four, why is she eight ? but four is my favourite number, dont steal ): i miss you too, go run with me ! hahah loveyou (:

2005-10-26T10:26:00.000+08:00

MY SLIPPERS ! here i come (: citylink with loo in awhile, i dontknow what time tan is joining us :D it'll be fun yesyes ! i can tell alrd (: TEE ! :DDDD

i didnt know alex likes steak with boned centre /:

2005-10-25T19:44:00.000+08:00

SQUADMATES ;
im sorry, im sorry, IM SORRY.
im sorry i didnt stay back to help you all with everything that needed helping with. i might not have been a huge help (RIGHT AUDREY) but i think id have helped that bit ? yesyes id have ! im sorry ): i should have stayed, but i thought the meeting was more impt, IM SORRY. i havent been very responsible in this, yes im sorry, but i dontknow, just, SORRY.

tdy wasnt very interesting, im just, confused la. i dontknow anything, i really dont.

clique outing, fam outing ? nothings ever confirmed these days.

I LOVE YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU ARE,
YES I DO ):

2005-10-24T19:21:00.001+08:00

We Will Shine

Look at the world we live today
Look at the hurting everywhere
Let us see mercy and Your grace
Overflowed in every place
Let us be one with You today
And let Your glory fall
We will shine
Shine like stars above
Shining in Your light
Guided by Your love
Let Your fire burn in us
Burning like the sun
As we glorify
And show Your Kingdom come
In all the earth
Teach us to live in righteousness
Teach us to love in one accord
Guides us to live life everyday
As we worship in Your court
Let us declare Your Majesty
And let Your glory fall
We will shine like stars above
As we're burning like the sun

DARR ! :D
ever dearest ;
cheerup okay (:
ill always be here, dont worry ! i love you la, is it BIG enough for you, ego pigpig ? (:

2005-10-24T09:59:00.000+08:00

why does it always rain on me
is it because
i lied when i was seventeen ?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVER ! :D
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CYY !
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEIQI !

yesterday, tdy, thursday (:

yesterday was quite fun :D i was high during svc ? SHINE LIKE THE STARS ABOVE ! we sang stars really loud HOR ? hehh fun ! but i had abit of muscleache (that got WORSE ) so i was like holding my calf after that. rahh :D

mm then i went off to meet my mother and godparents ! hehh so rubbish. we walked around marina square, suntec (THE WHOLE OF TWO PLACES) but i still couldnt find slippers and bag that i liked enough. HAH. both places very huge okay ! blah.

NP ROCKS ! act was nice that day. cis were feeling, kind i suppose ? well, i enjoyed their kindness even if its act ? /: i dont know, i think they can be quite nice sometimes, as in really nice, not ACTnice. i dont think anyone else agrees, but nevermind. hehh lu, puay and i went to macs after that for dinner ! i was so hungry :D

tkd yesterday was, RAHH /: i was so tired and everything alrd, but i had to go down cuz i skipped alot, and i wont be going next week. but anyway i changed new belt ! so i guess its not bad, but ill miss ): the colour is, i dont know, just dont like ! i like BLUE. blah. he think what, CIRCUIT AH. then little kids like cannot do pushups, situps, jumpingjacks that kind of thing ? THEY CHEAT ONE LOR ): id rather do the twenty punishment pushups than have them cheat ): integrity is IMPORTANT ! rahh. i cant kick fast, but i can kick hard :D hehh sparring was rubbish. the two boys i thought were quite good werent that good actually /: so, BLAH.

i have muscleache, thanks to that ): and blisters also ! rubbish guy. wear those trng shoes la ! okay lor, we not allowed ): ohyes ! i want to buy guards ! the adidas ones are SO nice :D hehh anyone wants to visit marinasquare with me ? :D say YES ! aim ; the adidas blackbelt uniform :D its hundred twenty plus ? hehh the nobrand one is like, sixty. and i dont think the adidas one includes belt ): nevermind, i shall wait til next year to decide ! :D

OHYES, someone wore skirt yesterday ! you looked quite good, i think :D

im going to rot at home tdy ):

dearest FAM,
please, lets have an outing ): for the TEE ! which must be in a nicenice colour, like GREEN, ORANGE, RED, YELLOW :D must be striking ! tan thinks FAR, alrd at cny celebrations ! hehh okay nevermind. go out soon okay ? dont make me rot ):

supposed to be tdy one ): but then most not free, think only loo and me free ? /: BLAH but if i go out tdy cannot go out wed, and wed got secone the OTHER clique outing. nevermind, ill get my bag tonight ! and my slippers wed. not bad :D

ILL BE FLYING OFF ON FRIDAY ): im so sorry 2j, if i cant stay long enough for our minidrama ! i have to leave, i think latest eleven fortyfive ): i dont know, i could ask the cab to go faster. but ! rahh i want go straight to airport ! then wont have to leave so early :D i dont feel like going actually, but i guess i promised ):

subj combi ! should i take single ? /: i think ill, cuz i dont think i can get into double anyway ? and ill probably drop even if i can take double. RAHH i dontknow ): i have all the time in the world, i can ask everyone before i choose cuz, ILL BE BACK ONLY 31ST MIDNIGHT, which by then will be the first. shall go to school on tuesday to give, i THINK. seefirst :D ill just pretend the laptop doesnt exist.

I DONT WANT TO CHOOSE,
I DONT WANT TO LEAVE 2J ):

2j's a nice class, really. we might be super lowprofile and everything, and there might be a few people i dont really like, its a nice class. especially when ive made up with her, thank God :D ill really miss 2j next year, since i confirm wont go same class as them one ):

i might be going out with lp, now ? /: i dontknow, hehh ! NICE SONG ;

I saw a star beneath the stairs glowing through the melting walls.
Who will be the first to begin their fall?
Or will we become one?

Am I the star beneath the stairs?
Am I a ghost upon the stage?
Am I your anything?

I saw a star beneath the stairs glowing bright before descent
and in the morning there is nothing left
but what's inside of me.

And I don't want to die tonight;
will you believe in me?
And I don't want to fall into the light.
Will you wish upon?
Will you walk upon me?

I don't want to die tonight.
Will you.

okay im not, cuz loo is going to read SEVEN books of chronicles of narnia (:

2005-10-22T10:28:00.000+08:00

TONIGHT AT TWELVE, IT'LL BE MY LOVER'S BIRTHDAY ! :D

rahh i think,
i miss you ):

nevermind, im happy with what i have now alrd (: my life's about as good as it can get, i guess.

FIFTY DAYS ! :D

2005-10-20T18:42:00.000+08:00

my lover's birthday is on sunday : D im quite excited know ! rahh : D

TALENTIME WAS MALUATING, but fun ! hahah wifey rocks : D stupid pig ! dance la dance la SEDUCE ME, everybody say i flirt with you ): nevermind, i enjoyed : D so seductive ah ! hahah TWOJ ROCKS. i love : D

i was so lonely tdy, my lp left me at three thirty ): and she kept laughing at me, AND DONT EAT SO FAST LA. bad for digestion right, i dont know. i cant believe this, youre stopping tuition and im starting. I DONT WANT. feel guilty hor, i was alone ! pig : D

HONEYSTARS : D can save your life ! ha so adorable you.

2005-10-19T14:29:00.000+08:00

stop talking about it if you're just going to repeat the same word over and over again: NO. do you know that it hurts. you're not the only one hurting alright, so many people are getting mixed up in this thing that is supposed to be BETWEEN US ONLY. what, you think just by getting opinions from people you'll be able to source out an answer ? i can tell you this okay, YOU WONT. they're all not a part of it okay. i dont want to keep crying because of this thing, but is it really so hard to say yes to this ? you yourself said that ive not wanted smth this badly before, so why not. oneday you'll realise that all this has been good for me. i guess ill just have to continue keeping everything to myself til that oneday right.

nevermind. blogging about this wont change anything, but atleast it made me feel abit better. thanks for making me smile to my phone tdy, you know who you are (: youve been a great friend la pig. yes i was thinking of you when i called, happy (: BIO ! hahah. you passed la, thats enough :D loveyou ! mission, you better accomplish on, thursday. youre great, really. lastnight wouldnt have been happy without your COMP singing. retarded la ! LOVEYOU :D

and to YOU, youve been ultraimportant to me through this period okay. without you i wouldnt have been able to get through this, i think i might even have lost my faith, but you kept on reminding me to believe, and i guess, somehow it got through, and i just want to say that, you dont know how much you mean to me. you really dont, and i dont think you ever will, but nevermind, its enough that i know right (: five years down the road, maybe even twentyfive years :D

2005-10-15T14:44:00.000+08:00

new temp please someone ):

ive stayed home two days straight alrd, I NEED TO GET OUT. rahh !

NEW TEMPLATE )):

SENIOR !

2005-10-15T01:13:00.000+08:00

OKAY, my com's going crazy, everything's in CHINESE. haha ohwells.

HELLO PAN. :D
LOVE YOU
TALK SOON OKAY.

# senior.

2005-10-14T08:39:00.000+08:00

HELLO BLOG (:

got back results for exams alrd ! MY CHINESE ROCKS HOHO ! i shall list out everything, since im so free tdy :D

ENGLISH; 29/40 for paper two, 21/30 for paper one (I WAS SO SHOCKED, I FELT I WAS GOING TO FAIL, DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS WRITING ?! RAHH :D)

im quite happy with english actually ? like its quite high, for something i thought i was going to fail, REALLY I THOUGHT I WAS, the essay was THAT horrendous.

HISTORY; 56/80 :DDDDD

I PASSED, thats enough (: im brainless, see ?

CHINESE; 44/110 ! :D, 43/70, 12/20

i failed THAT badly hahah. my mothers going to kill but HA. go away la, i thought i did quite well for zuowen ! like i had 45 actually, but i wrote the wrong words ? ha i dont care, i failed overall by HALF A MARK. whatever, im too lazy to go find marks.

im just glad i passed two subjects, although i know its not a big deal to you smart people :D im dumb la ! hahah.

games carnival was great ! but, FLOORBALL WAS TIRING. hahah we lost every single game we played okay ! except the one against loyalty, we DREW. and eri told me they had the same results HAHAH.

oh well it doesnt matter, WE HAD FUN :D the team rocks la (: CHAR MEIYING HAPPY YIXIN JENNY DIANA :D i love !

ohohoh i think that wisdom girl is VERY nice, i shall not name (: but im sure alot of you know alrd ha !

NOW, blisters, muscle aches ):

zens back, and its 6gb now (: it doesnt make a real difference, since ALL MY SONGS ARE GONE, irritating ! now i have to put them all back into the comp, since my brother deleted everything not long ago /: RAHH

thanks to fam for making my day, as always ! and thanks to 2j, WE WERE REALLY UNITED. KALLANG WAVE ! hahah im sorry to all the other classes who got irritated by us screaming so much during captains ball and soccer, butbut, WE'RE JUST HAPPY. and we have alot of screamers (:

ill be sad to have to leave 2j, just when everythings so nice. we're a great class, and the spirit was really there yesterday ! how i wish everydays like that ): I DONT WANT TO LEAVE, but i guess ill have to, seeing as how the rest are so smart and im like this /:

YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME (: actually, YOU ARE MY WORLD.

2005-10-10T21:12:00.000+08:00

out with nuttiez today :D

i was LATEST, im sorry okay ! cinch called me at 945, LUCKILY SHE DID, i wonder what time id have left otherwise ! im sorry, i know im a pig who oversleeps :D

trained down to meet them at j8 coffeebean, we took manymany pictures. STRAWS :D TOILET ! hahah i like the green wall, then the PHONES, i like :D thanks chew for the chocolate ! :D

left for town, we went heeren for neos first. two sets, RUBBISH LA ! chew thought christmas was here, yings did halloween. PIGS :D nevermind, i like the seat ! and the poles chew and i climbed (:

went to pastamania for lunch ! sorry we didnt go to swensens jenna ! i shared baked rice and a drink with yings, WE'RE THIRSTY PEOPLE :D cheese cheese cheese ! hahah then walked down to fareast, chew's cousin is super cute ! she was nice, taking pictures for us LIKE WE WERE TOURISTS, okay nevermind, but she really is very cute ! yings cam spoilt, she couldnt close it ! haiyo ): fried mars bars :D chew went up to buy the turkish icecream ! SO WEIRD, ha.

after that we walked down to the station, we walked through scotts road,
flyer guy gives out fliers,
chew took a stack, "so many ah ?"
"ya you all got so many people !"
"you want give me the whole stack ? i help you give out !"
AND SHE DID, with us, "AMANDA CHEW YOU'RE SO EMBARRASSING !"
walked somemore, there was another one of them.
chew, "you want these ? your friend gave them to me."
the guy like didnt know what to do, "no you keep la."
"you want me to help you give out?"
"ey no need."

she was giving them out as we walked up and down the not working escalators /: then when we reached the station she finished giving them out, IN the station. pig ! yeah then we trained down to cityhall.

walked through citylink, didnt get anything. then went to suntec, tried to find the bags with chew. RAHH THEY DONT SELL ):

CANDY EMPIRE ! :DDDDDD very smart, i think we spent alot there. hahah WE ATE ALOT OF CHOCOLATE TODAY.

coffeebean,
gelato,
turkish icecream,
fried marsbars !

mm :D wonderful day ! i almost died, I CANT JAYWALK, IM SERIOUS. blah they went to some burger place while i walked back, ITS MY MOMS BIRTHDAY. i cant walk alright ! so many cars ! BLAH.

yeah trained back, MY LP IS VERY CUTE. loo made cookies (:

THANKS FOR MAKING MY DAY, im sorry you couldnt make it serene ): its a good day anyhow :D

2005-10-06T18:56:00.000+08:00

OVER :D

but i dont feel much different actually, it felt weird not studying ! hahah went suntec / raffles city with fam (:

we wanted to take the chinatown bus ! hahah it was so ben, lu went to ask the bus driver whether it went to amk station and he said yes, so she alrd had one foot on the bus when he added that its a dollar :D HAHAH MALUATING SHIT !

trained to cityhall, walked to suntec, went to COUNTRY MANNA :D we all have a magnet from there now, hahah ! DONT KANCHIONG LU ! :D

then we went to watch dark waters ! lp and i didnt want to watch initially, but they dragged us in (: the cinema was EMPTY. i kept turning behind to look at the gross couple ! they were like making out, WITH SOUNDS. gosh ! anyway i think i was really noisy :D i screamed, shouted, talked, cried. hahah ! so dumb, i kept saying OHMAN very loud ! its a, weird show. lp held my hand, gave me tissue (:

TAN WANTED TO GO TOILET :D yesyes she did !

after that we just walked around, it was FUN ! i was veryvery high and SO i was happy :D hahah i realise that no matter what, FAM WILL ALWAYS BE FAM. <3 !

fam says;
i look les with lenses.
i look pervertic with specs.

RAHH ! i like them, i dont care. i shall wear again tmrw, i dont want to look les. and NO I DONT LOOK LIKE HER OKAY, SO DIFFERENT !

im still quite high (:

I WANT TO GO CANDY EMPIRE AGAIN ! :D willy wonka !

2005-10-03T20:15:00.000+08:00

i dont like the exams ):

# i cant sit with my sa anymore
# THE INVILGILATOR IS WEIRD
# one hour of sleep !
# study study study
# i still cant do the papers

ahhjfopjgofjioasghuhrhiogjiojfiomifaihp

i hope i can make it on thursday :D

i fell down during sparring yesterday, and now theres a bruise that i cant see but hurts ): RAHH ! i dont like ! even walking hurts ):

I LIKE THAT SONG :D

tuesday ) geog
wednesday ) science
thursday ) lit
END ! :DDDDDD

ill be so high on wednesday alrd, i dont want to care about lit ! im getting my new specs on wed too ! they're purple, SEXUALLY DEPRIVED ! :D

<3 fam, truly i do (:

& these days, i think 2j is a wonderful class (:

ill be sad to leave next year, since most of them are so smart, i probably wont end up with anyone ): RAHH !

do you know,
i miss you ):

2005-09-27T16:25:00.000+08:00

SENIOR !

i miss you ): ill reply your mail, SOON :D thanks for invading ! ILOVEYOUUU.

the chinese paper was, RAHH. i thought it was quite okay, until after when i realised that i li ti ): there goes my marks ! BLAH.

the cme tdy was HAIYO, but since nobody is bothering about it, i shall not care either :D i didnt even study for it, so i shouldnt expect much (:

bio
chem
physics
math
geog
chinese
lit

BARELY A WEEK LEFT, I CAN MAKE IT, I WILL I WILL :D

eighty vocab words and four book reviews by friday, WHERE DID MY TIME DISAPPEAR TO ):

homeec tdy rocked ! wendy, maple and i went to class, then to the library to do the handphone plan thing. nevermind it turned out quite alright i guess (: i enjoyed it, hahah !

loo ! thanks for the geog notes :D I CAN TELL THEYRE GOING TO BE VERYVERY IMPT ! i love you (:

i think my sittingpart rocks (: i enjoy myself HEAPS everyday sitting there okay ! although the table is super shaky and annoying, and i drop my phone so many many times everyday, I STILL LIKE THAT PLACE. (even if the chalkdust is VERY irritating) i love going to the toilet and the cooler and the specsstands, thanks for going with me ! hahah you rock la. i hope we can do this til next year :D WE WILL, RIGHT?

jiayou for eoys ! only awhile left :D soon it'll all be over ! WE CANNNNNN.

SENIOR!

2005-09-27T01:41:00.000+08:00

HELLO JUNIOR! (:

2005-09-25T11:20:00.000+08:00

THANKYOU THANKYOU : D

i love you all : D

i havent started studying my science, geog, lit, chinese AND ive barely started on math ):

pray for me ! (:

2005-09-23T20:18:00.000+08:00

im sorry for all this, but this time, i guess we all know that sorry wont help anything, and no matter how hard we try to patch up, everything will fall apart again, veryvery fast.

IM SORRY, I KNOW ITS MY FAULT. i know i deserve all this, if you all dont feel like it, you dont have to try to include me. i know youre happier without me. im sorry for everything.

thanks for the joy, i mean it. you all still mean the world to me.

2005-09-19T17:43:00.000+08:00

ive been veryvery happy today and yesterday (:

thankyou thankyou thankyou all those who have made my day, especially YOU TWO : D the cd is veryvery sweet ILOVE :D thanks kay !

yesterday was an important and very wonderful day (: ill remember the date forever, i suppose (:

on saturday went with lu loo tan to the lib (: we went from foodcourt , lib, sixth floor, lib (: RAHH how irritating librarians and sercurity guards can be :D

tmrws the home ec test, FINALLY. coursework is over (: FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY, end of eleven fifteen recesses. :D

english was okay, but i was very bored ): couldnt sleep, RAHH.

i miss xun ):

SENIOR !

2005-09-08T01:05:00.000+08:00

i hope you never lose your sense of wonder
you get your fill to eat
but always keep that hunger
may you never take one single breath for granted
god forbid love ever leave you emptyhanded

i hope you still feel small
when you stand by the ocean
whenever one door closes,
i hope one more opens
promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance,
i hope you dance.

i hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
never settle for the path with least resistance
living might mean taking chances
but they're worth taking
loving might be a mistake
but it's worth making
don't let some hell bent heart
leave you bitter
when you come close to selling out,
reconsider
give the heavens above
more than just a passing glance

and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance,
I HOPE YOU DANCE

-

HELLO DEAR (:

don't forget what you said okay? and what you promised. :D

everytime you feel that nothing'll be okay,
or when everything's all screwed,
remember that there're still loads and loads of people out there who believe in you.
and that there are loads of people out there who are more unfortunate.
and let's have faith together. (:
it won't be easy, nobody said it will be.
but we'll build it up bit by bit.
there's always hope, no matter what.

i believe in you, so believe in yourself too, yes?
don't forget that my phone will always be on.
msg me; i'll call you back.
GIVE FAITH A FIGHTING CHANCE.

iloveyou.
; SECFOURSENIOR

2005-09-05T15:23:00.000+08:00

im very happy right now,

because singtel finally gave me back my callerid.

: DDDDDDDDDDD

THANKYOU.

2005-09-04T12:14:00.000+08:00

i really wish i can have more faith sometimes. in everything.

gosh and i wish that everyone'd stop being stressed out. its just, not worth it. learn to live and just be happy everyday kay ? FIND something to be happy about. jiayou for eoys everyone. im sure you can all study hard and get good results, cuz youre all smart and intelligent people (: thankyou to everyone who has stood by me, especially np people (: fruitfam is a wonderful group of people, seriously. theyre the only people i can stay close to, and so are charpok, simba. and darr.

2005-09-01T19:47:00.000+08:00

i changed my phone plan (: it activates on tuesday, and i can finally message properly without thinking of the VERY high bill ! im very excited (:

today is a very computer day. i woke up and went back to sleep and woke up again and came to the comp. then i stayed online for the WHOLE day ! i quite miss this feeling, which ive been getting alot lesser nowadays. i can stare at the screen for many many hours and not feel a thing, and it seems like it has been a long long time since practically everything i type is on msn. MM its very nice.

i did the graph up (: i dont know why you were so pissed but im sorry to have disturbed you.

i think that she's a very nice person and shes getting more and more reasonable (: thats a good thing, really.

i just realised, ive been doing np stuff the whole day actually. i woke up and started calling the squad, then i went to type that thing out, then i started to polish my boots, then i called and typed out the graph, then i went to iron my blouse. uh i burnt that sticky part off ? the formation badge one. think its the right side. i was ironing then the whole thing just came up /: think the iron was too hot. i think im quite a disaster when it comes to ironing and sewing ! i burnt my skirt the last time i ironed it and i stayed off the iron and then i ironed my blouse and the formation badge thing came out. its exactly HALF okay ! i superglued it (: i wonder what will happen when i have to iron it again next time. quite kuku leh how. TSK.

my boots are quite shiny (: i think they'll spoil by tmrw how ? dumbdumb shoebag. haiyo. jiayou kay squadmates ! unit pt will be games if you all polish properly know ? MM :D

i keep telling myself that ill start my history tonight tonight and tonight and i dont ): eoys are drawing near ! actually no, i think they're quite far away but everyone insists that theyre not ): nono i dont like ! im quite scared know ? that ill fail math, and science, and chinese, and most probably, home econs. its like we really havent done anything at all while the rest of the world have their proposals all typed and printed out nicely alrd ? gosh.

i hope kelly wins today, because her surname is pan. mm (:

2005-08-28T21:34:00.000+08:00

TODAY IS A WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL DAY :D

woke up at EIGHTTHIRTY, cuz of my ringtone (: im quite a pig, slept from eleven to eight thirty. mm (: thennn rushed out to meet dinah. BLACK EYELINER :D zi lian la her ! hahah.

had breakfast at longjohns, then trained down. SOMEONE was late ! hahah woke up at nine fifty nine hor :D PIGG. sat on the floor ! SUPER cold ! but but but service was really great.

the house is HUGE, end of story.

i bought my presents for THREE people (: done them up already ! i hope they like the presents (:

THANKS FOR PRINGLES KAY ! dont be pissed with your mistress ! and dont be TOO stressed tonight. must remember that ILOVEYOU like siao kay ! today was really fun know ? I LIKE ! marshmallows ! thankyou :D

sa ! thanks :D loveyou too ! hahah yeah whats with it, shes so so so random.

jerm ! thanks for caring :D you went for cip ! tsk i xintong kay ! sore eye still dare to go out. later get infection HOW ? never think for your husbands heart ! anyway. I LOVE YOU :D

su ! HEY MILK, WHATS BUBBLING ? :D

xun ! youre the BEST secfour senior i could ever hope for ( actually youre the only one, thats why youre best :D JOKING ) haii ill miss you really. i have SOMETHING for you tmrw :D please message me when you reach school ! its really really important, cuz i have to pass it to you ! LOVEYOU. nametags, you dumbass ! make me malu myself, FINE LOR :D anything for my senior !

darr ! wah so sweet ah :D ya lor born le means cannot be unborn. haiyo nevermind ! today ROCKED (: flirt flirt flirt ! hahah.

dinah ! HAIYO ! annabelle la annabelle. keep bullying me ! YOU TWO AH. tsk !

sorpoo ! guilty ): poopoo bully !

2005-08-26T18:02:00.000+08:00

sometimes i really wish i was never born.

2005-08-20T16:42:00.000+08:00

yesterday act was, /:

had headache on and off the whole day. but we finished the card (: and the stars + hearts bottle (: mm almost wanted to hand in kong1 juan4 for chinese then decided that i should try to pass at least.

sorpoo came down for act ! drills were rubbish. but im quite happy over something, which im not telling (:

tans entire family came to the canteen and sat there, HAHAH. ohno i thought it was quite cute.

i went out with my mother just now and bought new school shoes which are the ones i have already. quite dumb but I LIKE THEM. and she wouldnt let me wear them with the soles like dropping off. i cant take care of my shoes properly (:

uhh HAPPY BELATED SILVER :D KUAI GAO ZHANG DA ! i love you (:

2005-08-11T20:39:00.000+08:00

learning science will benefit me in the future. im sleepy again and there are two reflections and one essay due tmrw. gosh and i dont even know what im supposed to do, how ?

i think i like thursdays (: i think its my favourite day of the weekday. i dont know why, but im always happy on thursdays ? but i got quite irritated after school today. recess was very nice (: sat with my mistress, senior and meiying on oldspecs (: we did math together ! hahah it was altogether very unproductive but nevermind (: uhh thanks for teaching me YOU and YOU. quite sweet (:

the test sucked ? but haiyo i figured i was going to fail anyway. dont even think ill get above TEN. its very, difficult. guess staying up late wasnt a very good idea, i got a headache starting from art to after the test.

someone's annoying me quite alot, and although its really my fault that shes acting like this, i wish that she'd just stop it. as if she has a right to control my life and who i see everyday.

headed to eat prata (the chocolate prata is HUGE, and im a messy eater) then my wife's house. mm its cozy (: i like her room alot alot ! its just, quite comfortable looking. thanks for letting me charge my phone with ONEBAR left (: andd, JERM HAS THE SLIPPERS I WANT. gosh ): i like it ! BUT im still very broke.

we played mahjong (: funfun ! hahah my wife's brother (brotherinlaw ? :D) is pro ! wendy won the first round i think. quite rubbish but nevermind (: i enjoyed.

went home with wendy, and got shouted at. cuz ive been out too late everyday, according to her. i kind of dont know what to say ? as if ive got anything to do if i reach home early. id rather stay in school with fam la. and i reach home around SEVEN. its not even that late. tuesday was an exception, and im like never home that late. i dont get the fuss. she'll probably make me go home straight after the carnival tmrw RAHH.

SORPOO ! JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU (: my pooey shooter can do it (: the biggbigg trophy ! your team (: ewaaaaa ! gosh i wish they'd allow us to go down to support you all ): but NEHMIND, we shall try yes ? (: aim, shoot ! SORPOO ROCKS. i lovelovelove you ALOT :DDDDD work for it okay ! add oil ! target : bulldog (:

yeah and you too. GOODLUCK my swollen eye shooter (: shoot well !

gosh i really think im a pig. i cant stay awake for more than fourteen hours without feeling sleepy ? HAIYO. old already la how ):

benbenzhuzhu (:

2005-08-10T13:50:00.000+08:00

ITS OVER. but i think ill miss training ? squad bonding (:

goh contingent rocks (:

woke up at four am to polish boots, AGAIN. then waited until like 625 before leaving the house ? my mother decided to take a picture. i like the numberone ! i want to keep it ): hahah then gosh i walked into the canteen and greeted alone. TSK, how rubbish.

ALL OF YOU WHO DIDNT BRING YOUR CONSENT FORMS BETTER BRING IT TMRW.

mm then we rotted for awhile before going to np room and after that collected rifles. my rifle was pretty (: all black and DRY ! :DDDD i like. took out collarpins and then put them on again /: alot of people's like dropping off already ? haiyo.

went to fall in at green patch. ee they didnt take out the white things on the hockey pitch afterall. i thought the whole parade was quite good (: although we all fidgeted quite alot. but dont think it was that noticable ? should be la. not bad (:

the marchpast was veryvery strange. everyone just clapped while we marched ? huh like really dont know la. so weird ! loo like so poor thing ): her KNEE.

went canteen to drink. there was food too, guess quite alot of people ate ? we just kept talking and i was quite high (: after a veryvery long time we went upper concourse to take photos hahah i was standing at the LAST ROW (: tall ! i like.

then went back np room to change. i still like my pe shirt ! its huge and comfortable (: gathered, then me and krys went to take the BALLOONS (: hahah i took out one and gave it to this aunty. actually wanted one also but then like quite kuku to carry it all the way to woodlands ? mhm so i left it there. hahah my mistress gave me one after ! so sweet okay. but actually its because she didnt want it anymore but NEVERMIND (:

sat in macs for a veryvery long time. shared hotcakes with krys (: i finished ! awe it was alot. there was this malay guy who walked to our table then he just stood there ? i thought he was watching tv but apparently he wasnt. yeah then he went out and stood at the window (cos we were at the seat beside the glass) then he mouthed bitch ? whatever he came in again and we all just stared at him. he said lesbians and did that vibrating mouth thing ? aiya dont know how to say. it was very, childish but anyhow i was quite scared. we all laughed ? then he walked out. uhh then he walked in again and sat on the table beside ours but we were in the toilet then he told us that our cis were in macs too, like OKAY ? mm he went to talk to them.

then he walked out again and when we were about to leave we went over to the cis table to ask what he said. they were very cute, AWE (: i like ! hahah he didnt say anything to them about us gosh how retarded.

yeah then we walked again and saw him. TSKK, he said we're childish and tann just said i think youre more childish. so irritating okay him ! haiyo. then walked down to the benches outside the hawker center and just sat. (: mhm then went to the tauhuay shop. it was EMPTY and nice. i like !

OKAY LA, lp ): knee : get well soon. THE sadist better not be too happy and make your knee worse just because, youre a sadist -.- mm JIAYOU, do your jianbaos nicely ! MATH, MATH, MATH. bf more important than lp already la. fine ):

2005-08-06T16:30:00.000+08:00

i just went around blogs and got quite sad. mhm im quite screwed i think.

1) the zuowen that was due on friday is still rotting
2) tingxie on friday
3) math test on thursday
4 ) chinese test on friday
5) i didnt bring my math textbook home
6) the chinese test is on yilunwen, and, im screwed
7) my math is really very /:
8) i havent passed a single math test this year
9) i got 5/50 for the class test
10) theres ndp on monday and tuesday
11) I REALLY DONT GET WHY MY CHINESE IS SO HOPELESS, BUT IT IS.
12) and my english explanation text which im too lazy to do

and why am i complaining about chinese when my math is equally hopeless. i wonder what i'll do next year, amath is alot harder than what we're doing now.

i think im going out tmrw too, then im coming back for training. MAYBE only, i might just stay out. gosh, i cant believe i change moods so fast, i was extremely high just now, with her (: phonecall, hahah.

my sari is purple and green and, yellow. its freaking ugly, and numberone is so so so uncomfortable. the COLLAR, but i think it'll all pay off soon (: JIAYOU, CONTINGENT. monday and tuesday (: then it'll all be over, and i think i'll be quite sad. i like trainings (: its not that tough afterall. goodluck washing the rifle stains out everyone.

HA, i like the indian dance justice's putting up. its really very cute, but apparently im the only one who likes it. standing next to jas rocks la, I LIKE (: hahah anddd my mistress is in front of me. i have a goodgoodgood feeling about monday (:

anyone who reads, to wash the rifle stains out:
1) use turpentine and scrub
2) pour dynamo on the stain and leave it for ten minutes before washing
3) bleach it then scrub with shampoo
its okay if the stains are faint, so long as theyre not obvious.

gosh i think the ncos really very cute, i laughed for ten minutes straight after she messaged me. she sounded like an advertisment, but thats okay (:

goodluck, SORPOO (: third ! ewaaaaaaa im proud. jiayou okay ! i know you want the biggbigg shinyshiny trophy (: LOVEYOUUUUUU. ohyes, are you coming down on tuesday ?

darr also ! hahah SECOND LA, my swollen eye shooter (: shoot well ! :DD jiayoujiayoujiayou ! raiser (: NUMBERTHREE ! raise nicenice okay !

mhm, and to the rest of the squad, ENDURE (:

study hard, becauseeeeee the exams are coming (or so he says, GOSH). sleep well (:

2005-08-01T21:38:00.000+08:00

WANYI ! thanks (: means alot to me yknow. tskk. :D LOVEYOUUU.

too much np ): not enough time to bond ! today drills was so tired i just, frowned. hahah as in throughout until someone talked. then i was like staring into space ? gosh felt weird. like really starestarestare then she give command then do then still staring. ee so weird ! wed have again. friday ALSOOOOO. gosh ): and my boots are notnotnot shining ? im polishing everyday ):

and class isnt fun anymore. i just keep, feeling so bored. smallfry likes to pick on me, im really veryvery irritated with her. and ! MY SENIOR CAME BACK ^^ saw her during drills ! then after that she was walking from the canteen there that bridge then krys and i shouted XUNNN from the track (: shes really very extremely nice how ! tsk.

i, cant stop thinking about next year and what its all going to mean. UPPERSEC, and in JULY, pop. gosh. still having postpopdepression ? really keep thinking about next year. biantai ! ee.

feel like studying now. but like got nothing to study ! actually have la, ALOT, but i dont want math ): i like staying back and studying in fam lounge (: its funnn and i can actually finish homework. tsk how, rare.

had the chinese speech today. thanks sinyee ^^ but sorry i didnt speak properly ? my chinese is really very, /: HOPELESS LA. then ! after me is a china citizen, thankyouverymuch. so fluent can ! whatthe. ):

<3 my mistress ! ***NN ! hahah.

thanks fam (: love all of you all alot alot !

2005-07-30T16:29:00.000+08:00

i think its really stressing to live. feel so weird now ?! like everythings halfright and halfwrong. i dont know la, but ive been thinking about how ive been behaving and i think its really very, /: im treating everyone all wrong, and just because i havent been happy isnt an excuse for it.

im sorry to everyone ive pissed off already, and from now on im going to try to mend everything. i guess. sorry, especially to YOU. haiz. i dont know la. just feel that everything has changed ? but then kind of like everythings broken up now. shall try anyway. just going to apologise if nothing works, and i make things worse.

and sorry i daoed you the whole day. until, eight plus anyway. but everythings okay now. SORRY, hai you cannot shoot well and made you fierce. three hours and fourteen minutes helped alot (: FIRST TIME. sorry.

then YOU. its all our fault you know. we made you feel left out and now we're jealous that youre going with her, and them, and its like we're being so selfish and you dont even mind and thats the worst thing. it'd be better if you had at least say out everything. everything started with us, and its going to continue if we dont change. and if we do youre going to feel something, cuz you think its like we qianjiu you but then if we dont its like really very extremely rubbish ? we treasure you so much yknow. haiz. just wish that everything could go back to just after jtc. then so bonded and high.

maybe we just spend too much time together. but i dont want to spend more time away from you all than i have to. just sorry. we all share equal parts of the blame, but you dont. youve been the innocent party for so long, its actually a wonder you havent cracked yet. youre too nice for your own good do you know ? sorry we keep forcing you to bond, but we're selfish idiots who just want you back.

its really like nothing and everything is wrong at the same time ? then im the cause of quite alot. like really. cannot stand it anymore. i get so angry with you sometimes, and its because you keep doing the same thing to me. then either you/i will apologise and it'll all go back to normal but actually im very sick and tired of this continuous cycle already. it doesnt seem like it'll ever end, and im not the only one who feels this way. i just wish that you'd trust more in the strength of our friendship, but you tell me that im the one who doesnt trust. well im sorry for that, but i really dont know what to do. im really getting very sick of this and i dont think i want to continue it. youre so sweet sometimes, but i really dont know who to feel.

theres only one person in the whole world who knows everyone mentioned, and youve been such a good friend. sorry i keep asking you for advice, i know it can get very annoying, but you havent said anything yet, and im really very grateful for you. thanks for everything. i really really dont deserve having such a nice person like you as a friend.

2005-07-27T21:34:00.000+08:00

MY PARTTIME SMILING PART, FULLTIME KOR = EUGENE ! (:

hahah so cute right ! smiling part (: awee ! I LIKE. i blog already okay ! :DDD cannot accuse me anymore. ANYWAY i still like bunnies are shy by nature (: yknow i was smiling veryvery hard at my phone when you messaged me that ? ^^ CUTE CUTE ! hahah.

eh i think youre so random (: and your friend still amuses me. I REALLY SEE HER EVERYWHERE LOR ! tskk (: stalker ! hahah biantai.

anddddd i like my calculator ALOT ALOT, although its vandalised, BYY. i wonder who (: its pretty i think ! hahah quite strange, ohno (: your daddy is funny, i like ! AWEE.

MY ONE AND ONLY MISTRESS = CHARPOK ! (:

my mistress is veryvery sweet (: hahah she keeps accompanying me to the toilet ! and we get scolded by smallfry together (: aweee and she doesnt mind getting gREEn. chao sweet ! hahah i like HOW (:

i think i get high during class more often than during np. sally and yimin are veryvery funny people. ANDD someone sitting in front of me asked me to count for her how many times she ties her hair. hahah quite cute i thought. awee (:

THE AGE TO GET A BOYFRIEND = FIFTY, NOT FIFTEEN MISTRESS ! :DDD what i said to imran, and he says its exactly half ^^ supposed to be twentyfive ! hahah quite cute (:

i keep laughing when returning punishments how ? TSKK, at all the eight parts (: actually i wouldnt have laughed if SOMEONE didnt tell me i laugh at that part. hahah then situps i was doing doing doing then until fortyeight, just started laughing ? WHOSE FAULT. my mistress is cute (: and YOU reply letters very slowly. when you come in anyway ! never see hahah.

AND, IM VERYVERY PROUD OF MAMA (: she linked alot of people ! WAHH accomplishment (: and fams name in caps (: AWEE. so sweet right ! bulldog is bad ): dont like ! you were in the middle of the table in the fam lounge just now yknow ? JIAYOU FOR PRELIMS ! oral sure can one la, YOU ! crap so much ^^ we waited for, FIVE AND A HALF HOURS. then you say you home already. hahah what crap (: ddpp leh you ! awee.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FAM, FOR WHATEVER ITS WORTH. we're so broken, its a wonder we're still recognised as a fam. why cant you all just make an effort for once. its all about the ROLLYEYES PERSON now isnt it.

2005-07-24T00:20:00.000+08:00

TODAY CHAO FUN ! went zpop ! :D met krys at cityhall, then we hid and waited for mama and tann (: FUNFUN ! but mama saw us ! hahah awe (:

then we walk to suntec then MARCHE ! krys very gundo ! she dont know how to use the card still dare say yes when the person ask :D TSKK, pan is pro ! hahah then we walked around for like dont know how long ?! was holding mamas hand at the icecream there. knocked into the bowls >.< ALMOST DROPPED LEH, SO SCARY ! we both screamed (:

krys and tann shared CHICKEN, and we all shared waffle + icecream + BANANA ! ahha nicenice ! krys and tann chao retarded ?! awe ! then we ran to the station again to meet xiaoen (: fun fun ! then i never see her at first but then mama did. krys thought she looked cool (:

then we run run run to the hall ! wanted to look for sylvia with dar but then couldnt find ): AWE. chao high in there ?! jump jump jump ! hahah. then we went out get glowsticks ! saw shilin (: HE DAMN NICE ?! give us alot alot ! hahah fun ! then we play for very long with them (:

THEN THEN THEN, CHAO BIANTAI ! got this group of guys they came over ! then they ask dar whether she want to REN SHI THEIR FRIEND. gross ! my love rival (: dar cute cute ! she like keep shaking her head. then her face chao dao (: i like !

then we SANG to each other ! nice nice ! they say LES ! LES ! LESBIANS ! then the woman in front keep turning and smiling at us. nice (: first time fam together scream never irritate people ? ACCOMPLISHMENT ! hahah. hugged waist alot of times today (: SWEET RIGHT.

dar tuo diao her jacket ! she really like shrug it off then do the cowboy thing. CHAO COOL LOR ! :D so shuai right, my moony bf ! :D

then we stay there awhile more to crap then left. foodcourt (: I FED DAR ! hahah they didnt see. mama only see once but i did it FOUR TIMES (: sweet sweet ! peach tea ! not les okay ! BULLY ):

after that we wanted to walk back to cityhall. then like the linkway there dont know got what problem with the escalator ? the police didnt let anybody go ): mama say got bomb ! so scary. WE ALMOST GOT KILLED ?! ohno. i held mamas hand (:

then krys left for her parents then we never realise, only dar did but APPARENTLY SHE DIDNT WANT TO TELL US. me and mama ran back first (: held hands again ! hahah so fun. then hugged krys ! say byebye (: then we walk back. late late !

looked at CUPS, female, male, lesbian, gay :D FUNNY, i thought. hahah in the end we reached the train there at like ten, but supposed to be EIGHT THIRTY for me. tann and i quite quiet ? AWEEEEE really i was abit low after mama left.

then the bus queue there i saw this EXTREMELY tattooed guy with a roxy cap ?! gosh i was so shocked i just kept looking at him. so weird ! reached home at eleven ): everyones quite fascinated by my glowsticks (: nicenice ! my brother broke one. then the liquid drip onto the bedsheet ?! gosh. how messy ! hahah.

LES ! LES ! LESBIANS ! ^^

2005-07-23T12:39:00.000+08:00

went to pa yesterday. TSKK imran is such a strange guy, and my voice is too high. someone was extremely cute awe (:

im going for zpop later, im EXCITED (: hahah can see mama after sososo long. I LIKE.

i dont like dan ni gu dan, it makes me cry.

2005-07-20T21:41:00.000+08:00

today was, quite nice :D was quite LATE, sorry loo and tan and simba and krys ! tsk (: no flagraising ! which means no smiling to myself kukuly ): AWE dont sad im sure we'll get our chance ONEDAY, although it has been two days already ): ohyes, mama thinks your entry is biantai buttttttt I DISAGREE. hahah your toilet is so, empty and clean. you never go ! TSKK.

happy pasted two YELLOW smileyfaces on my shirt then i just shouted quite loud, I GOT TWO STICKERS ! then erm smallfry came in, bu yao zhe me chao. /: MALU ?! ee. happy is BLIND hahah. she has lost her specs for two years (:

then during teamwork i was sitting half outside the classroom (: then i just talk talk talk look out suddenly see yf ! so i just ohno very loud and faster look back in. oops /: then after ! dar came find me ! dierming say she very nice ^^ AWE cos she came down just to say one sentence then go up again ?! what rubbish (:

np again. rifle made my arm hurt (: so gosh can ! change halfway then suddenly realise i didnt check attendance last night ?! so scary. lucky can contact ! if not i DIE. hahah. ohyes, i think the np board is quite fascinating (: HANDWRITING ! hahah. i lean back when i march (:

macs for dinner ! i ate sundae (: karen pronounced sylvia SILVER :D we havent laughed like that for a longlonglong time, i missed that. at least united again. better than we have been in a long time. it felt like before THAT ROLLYEYES PERSON came in.

then went to guitar late. THAT BOY was there ! hahah he amused us again (: tsk he keep saying i need practice. maybe i should start :D

after guitar we walked to longjohns actually i wanted milo. THENNN saw them ?! actually i didnt. then tan said, SOMETHING. hahah i think theyre all cute (:

SILVER ! hahah you unenthu waver ! next time i shall shout your name (: i give you one second reaction time ! then you must be enthu ?! wheelchair -.- nevermind hahah OKAYLA, we wont be so clique ! sorry ): try not to feel so disappointed with us okay. act coming soon ! jiayou ! but not real act la. i shall tell you jiayou when its the real one :D NCO ! hahah. awe (:

2005-07-16T13:31:00.000+08:00

YESTERDAY ROCKED (:

recess i made yimin go with me to the gym after she bought her BANANA TOAST to find, (: hahah stupid pigg didnt answer her phone so i called mama (: she said hello damn loud ? very cute (: AWE hahah then she came out :DDDDDDD the squad letter was veryvery extremely sweet, it made me sad over ncos again. WHOSE FAULT ! hahah.

we had veryvery extended recess so i was BORED. went to canteen to meet loo tan and krys and watch them eat then i went back to class. then i went canteen again. tsk (:

class sucked like dont know what ? i flunked chem )))))): was quite low after school. hahah then i realised i have postcards in my diary so i took one out and wrote a goodluck message (: then i made my lp go UP with me to find her ! CLASS TOILET HOR.

then had act ! WAHLAU ATTENDANCE VERY FUN RIGHT. i was glaring quite obviously (: hahah i thought i wasnt actually but jessica said i was TSK (: SHES DAMN IRRITAING OKAY, WHERE GOT ANYBODY ASK PEOPLE TO WRITE ATTENDANCE DOWN ! gosh. what a failure. ohno i realise that none of us even listened to her at all (: never even tried actually i was pissed after attendance already.

me krys tan and loo partnered together ! :D hahah tan was being pissed cos SOMEONE kept rolling her eyes at her. we stood at father barre there IN A STRAIGHT LINE (: mama was in the hall ! SHE ( MAMA DID SHE HUG YOUR WAIST. IM GREEN IF SHE DID OKAY, VERYVERY GREEN ) was too (: hahah i got quite high.

then got scolded for belt and socks ? gosh i tried to pull quite high already okay. )): tsk mine wasnt the lowest ! darling : SORRY ): i couldnt find the highhigh belt pinafore ! was washing i think. but my socks werent that low what.

after act went macs (: ate then this group of secones came in ? gosh what garbish. one guy, i think sectwo, said "ni yi wei ni shi logistics de wo jiu pa ni ar !" then me and bitch were like HUH ? logistics very scary meh. hahah i thought should be scared of nco instead ? or oic la. quite weird really.

then she said she coming macs (: hahah i did like one whole page of math before she came ? so pro right (: then i think quite funny, she keep saying she teach right then like she never even ? very cute leh (: so sweet leh, her byebye (: AWE.

then loo and krys left, left tan and me. we did more math before leaving (: at the train station we saw this guy wearing a skirt ? tan kept repeating ohmygod (: hahah i just kept laughing. CROSSDRESSER (:

then she kept talking and talking and talking and talking and talking AND TALKING AND TALKING on the train while being nerdy -.- it was quite, amusing. gosh its really nonstop then suddenly at sembawang there she realised then, "eh pan can you talk ? i like keep talking leh ! -laughs" i stared at her for awhile (: then hor SHE WALKED TO THE ESCALATOR WITH ME, JUST TO TALK. :DDD stupid pigg ! quite cute la actually (: hahah.

today

went for breakfast with my mother and brother after i woke up at ten (: like i slept damn early last night, ten plus ?! gosh so early. i didnt realise it was that early actually, but then i read the message then it was like ten forty only ? ohno pan is a pigg ):

hahah i just strolled out of my room and collapsed on the sofa and decided to announce that halfblood prince comes out today and my mom was like, okay i buy for you later la. i said i dont want then laughed. then she say I BUY FOR YOU LA, YOU SURE WANT NEXT TIME. then i laughed nonstop. i dont know why also ? quite weird.

okay then we went popular and on the way up she made me say whether there'd be a long queue. i said yes, then we went in then they both started laughing at me. QUITE RETARDED. uhh okay we bought the book and came back. its in the living room now, i dont feel so compelled to read it leh (: its the adult version, so PRETTY (: but its like quite extra, since the rest of my collection are the childrens version. oops (:

then i went out again to meet eug. she was late, so i walked to the lib and spent very long looking for a book. she laughed at me ): cos i told her i felt quite nerd reading in the lib, then she say lib is meant to be for reading. okay la, but still. quite nerd ): OHYA, KISS OKAY :D

EUG DONT BE SAD ! i promise to love my big brother forever (: we went to swensens for icecream and then walked around some. went to get engraved rings (: i have the EUG one, she has the PAN one. its very nice (:

hahah we kept doing funny things in causeway. like walking into that shop and laughing at the tenbucks shirts then the salesman came over and said, theyre all for tenbucks. the minute he said that right, i just turned around and started laughing. eug pulled me out then made me go in again then we looked for the salesman and ran out again. TSK HOW RUDE (:

uhh then we went to bits and pieces and looked at rings for very long. then i just took this three thin rings together and said, is it possible to engrave this. she just said, no its no possible in this very matter of fact tone ? quite funny i thought. so we stared for very long then eug just said, can we get free chains with this. RETARDED RIGHT ! hahah tsk (: we gave them to engrave and walked around somemore, SO BORING ! went to pastamania and i watched her drink soup (: cos i waited for her daddy with her then he drove me home. i felt quite bad, like talking to taxi driver like that. then i kept apologizing ): hahah nice man, mr tan (:

i walked up, stared at my bed for awhile before deciding i was a pig and picked up harrypotter. i was feeling quite bad for making my mom buy it then not reading THEN i decided to use the comp. i have a very short attention span, its quite boring leh how ): NO MORE SIRIUS ))): how depressing.

theres snape though, AWE (: and i think the muggle minister is quite adorable.

2005-07-09T23:26:00.000+08:00

POP ):

it was very extremely sad. AIYA, I DONT KNOW HOW TO SAY LA. like i also dont know why i cried so much.

went to school veryvery late ): sorry tan, lu, loo ! i know you all pissed with me ): SORRY. then hurry up sew sew sew. then wrote very extremely short letters. like really DAMN SHORT ?! actually supposed to be long long touching touching ones but then no time ): i shall give when school ends for THOSE TWO (: and monday for mama !

went np room then to green patch. damn hot ? felt like fainting. i closed my eyes halfway /: too FAINT. hahah then got put into groups ! i was with rebecca :D SHES VERYVERY NICE (: i like ! the rest of the entire GROUP was just, /: np is enthu !

we went carpark when supposed to go lower concourse (: then found out that me and my MISTRESS were doing all the activities together ! it was veryvery cute leh ! like we keep go together then go away then go together again ! :D I LIKE ! it was quite, okay. not very fun but okay la (: the ballball game rocked :D i saw SOMEONE alot of times (: mistress kept saying i flirt ! ): AW !

then after that, went to change. tan and i changed at the not very dark staircase (: FUN ! :D hahah then went upper concourse to fall in. last time check uniform for MAMA ): she pull my belt higher then i ask her lower then she lower (: so sweet right ! ohno (: i saw SOMEONE again (: she never check me ! ):

then, went to the hall for pop. gosh i cried ? we have allyssa and sylvia, i dont know la. i will miss going to find SOMEONE in her class to give ALOT ALOT ): then they announced i started crying like dont know what. take away both sets of nco ?! whatever la. SOMEONE so poor thing okay. where got nco will be alone ! its just, not done. so unfair to her lor. make her sad ): then i was sad too cos she not our nco. actually during pop i was crying more cuz of that than anything else. she said could see the squad crying from on top the stage ?! gosh so FAR (: she talked to me when we were walking out AW hahah. so poor thing ! ):

had the dinner thing after. OUR SONG (: i love my sec four ma'ams, give me my sec four ma'ams, run run away. see my sec four ma'ams EATING DINNER SO SEXY all thanks to everyone run run away then after that we really RAN AWAY (:

went to the buffet tables ! alot of us only took dessert (: tan made my lp carry her plate of food ! WAHLAU TAN YOU MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A GREEDY PIG LOR. then walking down the stairs to the canteen NOT MINE NOT MINE ITS TANS so cute right ! :D then i think everyone ate the food except for me and, i think krys ate (: but i dont have gastric unlike SOMEONE (:

then went to take presents with loo and krys (: we inspected and contemplated SOMETHING (: had performance after. i didnt really get the sec ones skit ? like totally no relation to np. ours, i kept looking at SOMEONE (: damn cute ! hahah her expressions very funny and CUTE :D mama and mich were crying ): i didnt cry (: WHOS STRONG :D

the sec threes one very nice (: ZHOUJIELUN (: hahah SOMEONE very cute again. :D the sec fours one, ZOEE ! hahah we were all laughing. tan was, laughing AND crying veryvery vigorously (: quite weird.

then went to give presents. i wasnt crying at first then read mamas letter until, CRY UNTIL SO LOUD. and red and swollen ): gave them their presents (: i gave mama the pillow first then bridget was over there then after she looked quite shocked that i gave her (: SHE VERY NICE ! :D hugged (:

entire squad cried until like dont know what. the letter ! ohno ): i shall read it again later (: then went with krys still crying to give yifang her testtube and, PILLOW (: she looked shocked too hahah and i was crying then she say thankyou then i just, quite dao (: ah i felt nice ! but they really, deserve it ? okay thats not the word but i dont know how to say it la. like very worth it to give them ? in a sentimental way (: after that went to give SOMEONE her milkbottle (: damn sweet la her ! hugged me (: really very poor thing how. ): she very cute (:

then went back to sit down and cry somemore (: when they ask us gather i still havent stopped /: hahah quite weird. liping and SOMEONE came over to give us, bibs (: hahah made me cry harder. ohno ): SOMEONE very extremely cute again :D

then unit gather i still crying /: quite strange at that time already. like nobody else crying. aiya like, still quite sad. yeah then it was over, and we went to np room to get our stuff. puay lost her bag ): so sad right.

i dont know how to say la but its like, really really end already. i couldnt say the goodbye ma'ams at all ? at most was thankyou. like i was really crying still. then after that i got into the car and started crying again. my mother laughed at me and i got quite pissed. i guess its cuz she doesnt understand. gosh i cant imagine next year. im not going back by car again lor. i sure cry still ): SOMEONE will be going next year and its like shes not even going to be with us every activity ? gosh ):

goodbye is goodbye i guess.